My Favorite Mistake
by detective-sweetheart
Summary: She wondered what made him tick, and at the same time, he wondered what it was about her that made him want to get to know her.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is going to end up going M/C at some point, just so you know. This chapter follows Logan and Barek through season five, in order, with two of these things going towards ITWSH. CI's not mine. **

* * *

The name is familiar. She's heard of him by reputation, because he's a hothead, and that's what got him shoved to Staten Island in the first place. Mike Logan. The NYPD's black sheep…or shield, she muses, wryly. She wonders what she's getting herself into.

When she sees him, she's struck by the way he looks. And she starts to profile him, without thinking. Deakins talks, but she barely hears him. She's too busy trying to read her partner. And then he's holding his hand out to her. She takes it.

"Mike Logan," he says.

"Carolyn Barek," she replies, and there it is. The beginning of a partnership.

* * *

She eats in the car, and this prompts a conversation about food of all things. They're getting to know each other, slowly. And she's glad, because she's never really liked working with people she doesn't know.

"So," she says, when there's a lull in the conversation. "What'd Mrs. Logan make for her boy?"

And the fleeting, pained look that she sees in his eyes is hard to miss. But she says nothing, wondering if she's finally crossed the tentative lines between them. After a while, he speaks.

"Rum punch," he says, in a nonchalant way, that makes her wonder if he's kidding, but something about that way he says it tells her that she isn't.

And it bothers her, because suddenly, it hits her that she knows exactly what he means.

* * *

"You ever wonder what makes a cop go wrong?" he asks, and the question startles her, because she hadn't expected it. They're sitting in the squad room after the close of their second case together, and he's got a look on his face that says he wants to talk, but at the same time, he doesn't.

"A sense of entitlement," she says, finally. "They think they deserve something, or everything, and when they don't get it, they go for what will give it to them."

He shakes his head. "Damn profiler," he says, but there's a note of some sort of partner's affection that's there, so she ignores him.

"You grew up on a beat," she says, slowly. "Department means a lot to you, doesn't it?"

He nods, without looking her in the eye. "It does," he mumbles, almost inaudibly. "I hate thinking that some guys being stupid can just…"

"Make us all look bad?" she asks, quietly, and he nods again.

"Yeah," he says. "I don't get it. We try so hard to protect this damn city, and yet it screws us over time and time again…"

"So it doesn't surprise you that some of us go wrong," she says, more of a question than a statement. He sighs.

"Honestly, no."

* * *

It's the four of them together this time, and a high-profile case that's got the entire city on the edge of its seat. He finds it sick because he doesn't think people should be interested in this sort of thing, and at the same time, he's not surprised: the city's always looking for something new.

"You all right?" she asks, after they leave Deakins' office, because someone's called him out on various things he's done over his career. He smirks at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he says. "Load of crap, the lot of it. Most of it's old, anyway." He pauses, and gives her a sideways glance. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"Saying what you did."

And there's silence for a moment, and then she informs him that she was only saying what she saw, and she didn't see anything inappropriate, only a cop using the 'powers of persuasion' or however it was that she puts it. He shakes his head at her, and they call it good.

That night, he talks her into letting him take her out for dinner, because even though she told him they were good, he still feels like he owes her.

* * *

Defense attorneys are among the most awful people in the world, she thinks, after she watches her fellow lady detective close to tears on the stage. She looks at Goren, but he says nothing, looks at Logan and isn't surprised to find an incensed look on her partner's face.

"Son of a bitch," he mutters, "If I could get away with it…" And he doesn't have to finish the sentence, because she knows what he means, and knows that Eames is gonna want to kick this guy's ass, too.

"Hell hath no fury like the Major Case Squad," she tells him, in a wry undertone, because it's true, and because they're controversial, sometimes, the four of them, and they aren't afraid to go after people they know have done wrong. He smirks at her.

"Damn straight."  
And once again, she's reminded of why she likes being partnered with the odd one out. He never ceases to surprise her.

* * *

"You an only child?" he asks, and she shakes her head, because she isn't. Her parents had two sons before she came along.

"No," she says, "But then, neither of my brothers went and died on me. I wasn't born to take anyone's place.

And he snorts, because she's hit the nail exactly on the head. She knows exactly what he's getting at.

"I was an only child," he says, without looking at her. "Sometimes I wished I had siblings, but most of the time, I didn't."

And she knows why, and doesn't push him, and after a moment, he speaks again. "It's gotta suck, knowing you were only born because your parents lost their first child."

"Gives you a sense of them just going back to the drawing board, since the first time didn't work out," she says dryly. He chuckles, softly.

"Makes me wonder why people bother sometimes," he says, vaguely, and she gives him a sideways glance.

"You ever thought about it?" she asks. "Having kids, I mean?"

And he nods, because he has, and it bothers him sometimes, because he really does want it, but doesn't think it'll ever happen.

"Yeah," he says, quietly. "But you know me. I'm the eternal bachelor, remember?"

* * *

"Some people shouldn't be parents," she remarks, as they head back to the squad room. He looks at her, and nods.

"Couldn't agree more," he says, and then, "Talk about twisted. Wanting your own sister dead because she forgot to put a hat on a baby."

"I've seen stranger motives," she says, and knows that he has, too, from the way he smirks.

"People come up with the weirdest reasons for doing what they do," he says. "It's why they always get caught, you know."

"Because they get caught up in their own web of lies," she says. "Two sisters, headed off to prison, for completely different reasons, and yet one thing in common."

"You think she really did love that baby?" he asks. She sighs.

"Danielle, you mean?" she asks in reply, and when he nods, she goes on. "I think she did. Maybe not in an obvious way, maybe not in the right way, but…I think in some way, she really did. She couldn't have always seen him as a way to get money."

"And Claire?" he asks. She sighs again, and runs a hand through her hair.

"I think she did, too," she says, "But then, I think her desire to be a parent no matter what the cost got in the way."

He shakes his head. "You were right, Barek," he says. "Some people shouldn't be parents."

* * *

He remembers what it's like to be pushed around, to feel weak, and helpless, and he doesn't like it, because all it does is remind him of his childhood. So when the interrogation is over, and they've got their confession, he walks out.

He doesn't think that she'll follow him, but she does, and before he knows it, they're walking side by side.

"I hate this," he says, his voice coming more harshly than he'd meant it to. "I hate how people think the way they treat other people doesn't really affect them, and I hate seeing what people can become."

And she knows what he means, knows that he's been fighting his own demons for years, because she can read him clearly. "I see what you mean," she says, finally, uncertainly, not sure she really wants to know what his reaction will be, but he chuckles softly.

"Bet you do, profiler," he says, and there's that same partner's affection that's there every time he calls her something that would've otherwise been some sort of insult.

"It doesn't always come out like this, Logan," she says, quietly, after a moment's silence, and he looks at her, sideways.

"Name one person you know who hasn't gone the other way because of the way he was treated as a kid," he says, and doesn't expect the answer she gives.

"You," she says, simply, and they continue to walk.

* * *

"Cowboys and Indians," he says, again, when it's over and done with, and she rolls her eyes, because he's being rude, but at the same time, it makes sense. Jay Kendall had been playing both sides all along, and all it had done was result in his wife's murder.

"Guess this just goes to show that no one can have it both ways," she says, and he shakes his head at her.

"You're awful," he informs her, "But you do have a point."

"I hate dealing with politicians," she mutters, and he laughs, because he hates it, too.

"Last time I looked, you were the one who actually understood what Deakins meant by the whole flies and honey analogy," he says. She gives him an amused look.

"I really think you take pleasure in giving him headaches, Logan," she says. There is silence for a moment, and then he speaks, without looking at her, and muttering, so she can't really hear him, but somehow, she manages to figure it out.

"Wish you'd call me Mike," he says, and the amused look, which had disappeared for a moment comes back, because she suddenly feels like being annoying.

"Would you take a gun to me if I ever called you Mikey?" she asks, and when he glares at her, she laughs.

* * *

"Love does the strangest things to people," she says, as they sit in a restaurant after this last case they've worked, because she insisted on taking him out this time.  
"I still can't get it straight," he replies. "She kills her daughter, so she can marry this guy people call 'Fearsome Phil', all because her daughter threatened to take him down."

"Like I said," she says, and takes a sip from her drink, "Love does strange things to people."

"You ever been in love like that?" he asks. "So much that you'd do anything for this person, no matter what it did to you?"

She looks away. "Once," she admits, softly, because it still hurts to think about it sometimes. He looks at her with raised eyebrows.

"Who was he?" he asks, and wonders if he's crossing the line, but she answers, anyway.

"One of the Feds I was working with, while I was stuck with them," she replies. "It was…good while it lasted, but…"  
And she trails off, and he suddenly doesn't want to know, because he doesn't want to think about her hurting that way, doesn't want to think about her doing something for this guy, and all for nothing, because he just _knows_ that she did do something for him, and then he left.

"For what it's worth, he's an idiot for leaving you," he says, and she offers up a faint smile.

"Thanks."

* * *

"Never again," he tells her, as two uniforms take Lydia Wyatt away, because she's been nailed, and now she's freaking out at them, but he's ignoring her, and so is Carolyn, for the most part.

"I still think you should at least give it a chance," she replies. "You don't always have to see to believe."

"When you live in a world like this, seeing is believing," he says, and she shakes her head.

"Come on," she says, "We'll go for coffee."

And he follows her, because he can, and because he really does want to, and as they sit across from each other in a nearby coffee shop, he wonders if there could be more than this.

"How's the poison ivy doing?" she asks, smirking at him, and he rolls his eyes.

"It's going away," he says, "Thank goodness. It's starting to get on my nerves."

"Ground-up toadstools," she says, looking amused, and he shakes his head at her, because he knows she's quoting him, and she's doing it to get a laugh out of him, but it isn't working yet.

"Calamine lotion," he tells her, and she laughs, because the expression on his face as he says it is too good to pass up. She takes out her phone and snaps a picture of it.

"My new background," she tells him, and he rolls his eyes, chuckling.

* * *

He hits on her, and doesn't mean it, because he's reeling, and she knows it, so she leaves him there. And then he ends up getting hit on by someone else, but calls it a night, because something about the fleeting, hurt expression he'd seen in his partner's eyes had bothered him. He ends up talking to Olivet. But after that, he wanders.

And then he realizes that he knows where she lives because he's had to pick her up in the middle of the night before, for a scene, and so he goes, pushing the buzzer and hoping she'll answer. She does, in drowsy voice that makes him wish he knew that she didn't hate him right now.

"It's me," he says quietly, "Listen, Carolyn, I'm…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that to you, I…"

And she cuts him off, because she knows he's upset. "Come on up," she replies, and buzzes him in.

When he gets to her apartment, she's waiting for him. And they sit together, for what seems like forever, until he falls asleep, with his head in her lap, because somehow, they ended up that way while they were talking.

She runs idle fingers through his hair and thinks that she might just be in love again.

* * *

Neither one of them wanted to say goodbye, but they did, because they didn't have a choice. And now, they sit across from each other, because Deakins finally gave him an official desk, and he's taken it, and they haven't really talked about what happened the night he shot that undercover, but he doesn't want to push it.

Neither of them want to believe that their commanding officer is retiring, resigning, really, to be replaced by someone else. She looks at him, and motions out of the squad room. So they both rise to their feet, and go to some random restaurant, because they've been doing that lately, and he wonders why this is.

"So," she says, "The end of our first year. How does it feel?"

And he laughs, because he's heard rumors about her transferring out and they make him nervous, because he doesn't want her to leave him.

"Hell of a ride, no?" he asks, and then, "Would you do it again, if you could? With me?"

And she looks at him, and nods, without saying a word, and by the time they leave the restaurant, they're both in good moods, and they walk, because they can, and because she's finally gotten him to agree that they don't necessarily drive everywhere.

And when he finally takes her home, she tugs him back when he goes to leave, and kisses him, because the rumors are true, and she doesn't know when she's going to see him again.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Follows Logan and Wheeler through Renewal, in order of their eps. But it's still going M/C...**

* * *

He's stunned when he finds out he really does have a new partner. This is great, he thinks, not only am I stuck with a new commander, I have a new partner. And one that looks like she's barely out of the academy, at that. He feels a wave of something akin to sadness, but it isn't really that. This is the seventh partner he's had. He wonders what he'll do to scare this one away.

"Megan Wheeler, Mike Logan," says the new captain, introducing them. "Hopefully, you'll be able to get along. You'll be partners until one of you transfers or until I see fit."

It sounds almost like a threat, and Mike takes an instant dislike to this guy, because he isn't Deakins, for starters, but also because he seems like a real jerk. But he has the feeling he'll get over it, sooner or later.

Wheeler's already getting under his skin, too, after a remark she makes that implies something it shouldn't, and it's all he can do to keep from snapping at her.

"I've never had a partner with freckles before," he tells her, and she gives him a look.

It's this that makes him wonder how long this is really gonna last.

* * *

Barek shows up at the hospital after he gets the hell beaten out of him by a bunch of firefighters, because he went and pissed them off, because he never really could keep his mouth shut. Wheeler leaves the room, with a muttered good riddance from him, and Barek gives him an amused look.

"Already in trouble, huh?" she asks, and he glares at her, because she left him and didn't tell him why, because she kissed him before she did, and hasn't said a word to him since.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, and she sighs, running a tired hand through her hair.

"I came to see you," she admits. "I heard what happened, and I…" She trails off, to regain her composure. "I wanted to know if you were all right."

"I'm fine," he says, bluntly. "You can go now. You're not my partner anymore, remember?"

And it hurts to hear this, because she cares about him, because she thinks she loves him, but isn't sure yet, and damn him anyway, for being the way he is, she thinks, this shouldn't be happening.

But it is, and she stays, and after a moment, he scoots over on the hospital bed so she can sit beside him, and she does, and they stay there in silence, because it's really all they can do.

* * *

He knew there was a reason why he didn't like most celebrities. Everything went to their head. Drugs in a recording studio, wanting to be famous…It's never made any sense to him, and it never will, as far as he's concerned.

"Two down, however many to go," says Wheeler dryly, and he gives her an amused look, because she reminds him of the way he was, with Greevey, and Ceretta, and Briscoe, a rookie, but at the same time, someone who knew something about what he was doing.

"Time to call it a day," he tells her, and rises to his feet, taking his coat with him as he does. "See you in the morning."  
And she doesn't ask where he's going, and he doesn't tell, but he ends up meeting Carolyn at a random restaurant, like they did in the latter part of their own partnership, because he can, and because she's off duty, too.

"So, how's life treating you?" he asks, and she offers up a faint smile, and sighs.

"Could be better," she remarks, and then, "I miss being there in Major Case."

And he wonders if she also means that she misses being with him, and can't help but hope that that's what it is, because he really misses being with her, too.

* * *

He was told that he was 'in blood' and it doesn't scare him, much, but it bothers Wheeler, who tells him to watch his back, as if he needed reminding, and he thanks her, because she's slowly starting to grow on him. And then he leaves, and ends up running into Carolyn, who insists on taking him for coffee, because they haven't seen each other in a few weeks.

"You driving the new captain up the wall yet?" she asks, and he laughs, because he gets the feeling that Ross doesn't like him much, but it doesn't matter, so long as he doesn't get sent back out to the island.

"No more than I used to drive Deakins up the wall," he says, and she laughs, because she has the feeling that he's lying just to get out of talking about it.

There's silence between them for a long moment, and he stirs the coffee in the mug before him with his finger, because Carolyn confiscated the spoon that had been in front of him to stir her own.

"Why'd you kiss me?" he asks, out of the blue, and she gives him a startled look, unable to answer.

Five minutes later, she leaves, and he knows that it'll be unlikely that he gets an answer anytime soon.

* * *

"The internet isn't really that complicated," Wheeler tells him, and he gives her a look.

"Call me old, then," he says. "I still don't get the appeal of these damn video blogs."

They're standing in the middle of the city, just watching as their so-called 'victim' flaunts herself on national TV, and it's making him sick, because it isn't the way it should work.

"People are just looking for a way to express themselves," says Wheeler, shrugging as they turn away. "Guess they've found a way to do it."

And his thoughts are with Carolyn, then, and he wishes that he could express himself suddenly, but at the same time, he doesn't, because he's almost afraid of what could happen.

"Come on," he says, to Wheeler, then, in an effort to distract himself. "We'll get something to eat. I'm buying."

And she comes with him, and for some reason, it feels wrong, because as he looks at her while she sits across from him, he can't help but think that Carolyn should be the one there.

* * *

He plays because he can, because it's distracting, and because he doesn't want to think about this case. He knows everyone has their own prejudices, knows that he has his own, but likes to think that he doesn't really let it get in the way of anything else he does, though he knows that sometimes it can, and does, but most of the time, he doesn't let it.

When the knock on the apartment door comes, he's startled into playing a wrong note, and he goes to answer, and there's Carolyn, and it's been a while since he's seen her, and he's happy that she's there, but at the same time, he's upset to see her because he knows she's only going to leave again.

"What's up?" he asks, because it's neutral, and she can either answer or ignore him. He moves so she can come in, and she looks at the piano.

"I didn't know you could play," she remarks, quietly, and then, "I was listening for a minute before I knocked…you play beautifully."

"Blame it on my aunt," he says, nonchalantly, "She figured it was better than me getting caught up with some gang when I was a kid."

And she laughs, because she can just imagine it, and at the same time, she notices that two people can play the piece he was just working on, and so she sits.

"Come and play this with me," she says, and he does.

* * *

Rap music comes from the apartment above his, and so he leaves, because he's sick of the industry as a whole, and he wanders around, because Carolyn got him hooked on walking around, and besides that, it helps. And he doesn't expect his cell phone to ring, but it does, and he looks, to see who it is, and it's not Wheeler.

"You feel like coffee?" she asks, and she sounds tired, and he's gonna have an issue with whoever her new partner is if he or she's been shoving the work off on her, leaving so they can pursue other things as they will.

"Yeah, I feel like coffee," he says, "Tell me where."

And she rattles off a place that's near to where he is, and tells him that she's driving, because he lives on the other side of the city from her, and he laughs, and tells her it's ok, because he'd do the same thing.

And when they meet, he blinks, because somehow, she's changed, and he doesn't know why, doesn't know when, and doesn't know how. It scares him, but he won't admit it out loud, because he doesn't want to seem weak, especially not in front of her. But she takes his hand, and laces her fingers through his, and says three words that he never thought he'd hear a woman say to him.

"I miss you."

* * *

Politics, he thinks, are the bane of my existence right now. And he remembers a comment Carolyn made during a case where politics was one of the main things involved. It makes him laugh, and Wheeler looks at him strangely.

"There's nothing funny about this," she informs him. "Why are you laughing?"

"You wouldn't get it," he says, "It's…an inside joke, between one of my old partners and me."

And she shrugs, because she doesn't really care, heaven only knows she has enough of those with the task force she just left, but at the same time, she's almost jealous, and Mike gives her a sideways glance.

"What?" he asks. She shakes her head.

"It's nothing," she says, and then, "How's Barek?"  
And he gives her a startled look, and then realizes that they must have met when the whole thing with the FDNY went down, and it almost surprises him that Wheeler even remembers, but at the same time, it doesn't.

"She's good," he says, and thinks of the way she said that she missed him, of how it felt to want to tell her how he felt, that he felt the same way, and of how it felt to know that he couldn't. Wheeler looks at him with raised eyebrows, and he looks away.

A few minutes later, they've both started laughing.

* * *

Another case involving kids. And family. And whatever else was there that he missed. Wheeler searches for her father, and he watches this, feeling almost sorry for her, because his father stuck around, but hers didn't, and she calls the man a lousy bastard for leaving, and he can't blame her.

It's strange, balancing life like this, he thinks, as he and Wheeler stand in what's turned into a graveyard, because the medical examiners were given a tip, or something or other, he didn't really catch what went down. He's got a partner at work, and maybe a partner in his personal life, but thinks are so screwed up that he doesn't really know.

"It's not him," Wheeler says quietly, to Rodgers, about remains that could've been her father, but the details that the ME gives them don't match what she still knows about her father. And she sounds relieved, but at the same time, she sounds defeated, and it bothers him.

So he takes her out for something to eat, because she looks like she could use it, and listens while she talks, for once not thinking of the details of the case, because he's thinking that Carolyn's rubbed off on him, and now he's rather listen to his partner than talk, because he's starting to realize that he's not really the only one with issues.

* * *

Back into the celebrity world. Carolyn laughs at him when he complains to her about the case later on, while they sit in her apartment, and he's sprawled out over the floor, on his back, staring up at the ceiling, and she's sitting on the couch, looking down at him.

"High profiles," she says, mock-seriously. "You know Major Case always seems to get 'em."

He makes a face at her. "You're real funny, you know that?" he asks, dryly, and he's being sarcastic, and she knows it. There's silence, as she fiddles with her necklace, and he looks at her.

"Something you wanna tell me?" he asks, and she looks away, because it'll hurt to tell him this and she knows it.

"I met someone," she admits, slowly, and can't look him in the eye. There is stunned silence.

"You met someone," he says, and feels something inside of him breaking. Maybe Wheeler was right, he thought, as he thinks of the small argument he and his partner had gotten into a few days ago. Maybe I am meant to be alone for the rest of my life.

"Yeah," she says, and sounds almost miserable. "Mike, I…" But he cuts her off, shaking his head.

"No," he says, "No, it's fine. Really. Just…I don't want you to think you can't tell me if he starts…" And he trails off, because he doesn't want to think about it, and she nods.

"I know," she says, softly, and reaches out to touch his hand, and it hurts when he pulls away.

* * *

Everything gets shot to hell soon after. Someone he knows dies, and Goren's not around, and Eames is working with him and Wheeler, and he hasn't seen or talked to Carolyn in a while, and it's bothering him. He doesn't want to deal with it.

"You miss her, don't you?" Eames asks him, during a lull in everything, when it's just the two of them, because Wheeler called it a night early, and he didn't have the heart to go home, and apparently, neither did she.

"I have no right to miss her anymore," he says, hollowly. "Kinda gave that chance up already."

And Eames gives him a look that tells him she sympathizes, somewhat, and he wonders if there's more to her and Goren than the department thinks there is.

"You know, she told me once she thought she might be in love with you," she remarks, and he gives her a startled look before laughing and shaking his head.

"With me?" he asks. "Eames, come on. It's gotta be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"It's not so hard to believe that someone might actually love you, Logan," Eames says dryly, and he shakes his head again.

"Maybe not for someone looking from the outside."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I think I have somewhat of an idea of where this will end up leading, so just bear with me...**

* * *

Wheeler leaves, temporarily. In a strange twist of fate, Carolyn comes back. She wears a ring on her finger.

"Promise ring," she tells him, and he stares at it.

"That serious, huh?" he asks, and she gives him a faint smile.

"Maybe," she says, and nods towards the office. "I'm the new girl again."  
And he laughs, because she was MCS after him, and now, they're together again.

The only difference is that now, neither of them can cross the lines.

* * *

Goren comes back off of leave, and the four of them go out for drinks.

"Well," says Eames, "Looks like we're only missing one."

And it's summer, early, and hot as hell, and it's been a year since their former commander retired, and so they all take a moment to think about him.

"We should drag him out with us one of these days," says Carolyn, and Mike laughs.

"I can just imagine," he says, "The five of us together, no regulations, nothing to stop us from saying what we want about whoever we want…"

"Sounds promising," says Goren, dryly, smirking.

When the waitress comes around again, all four detectives are laughing.

* * *

They catch a case. It involves the Feds. Carolyn runs into an old, familiar face, and Mike is with her when she does.

"Townsend," she says, coolly, and he nods.

"Barek," he replies, and then looks over at Mike. "Who's this?"

"My partner," she tells him. "Mike Logan."

Later, Townsend gets the nerve to ask if Mike treats her all right, and she laughs.

"He treats me fine," she says. "I'm not seeing him like that, anyway."

And it almost hurts to admit this, but she does it anyway, because it's true. Townsend gives her a sideways look.

"Someone else?" he asks, but she shakes her head, almost sadly.

"You had your chance," she replies, and that's the end of it.

* * *

"You heard from Wheeler lately?" she asks, and he gives her a startled look as they sit across from each other, because it's the last thing he expected to hear.

"Nope," he says. "She's still abroad. Old task force case of hers. Guess it's taking longer than they thought it would."

Carolyn nods slowly, and takes a sip from the coffee cup before her. "You know, I have to leave again when she comes back," she says. "I'm only a temp."

_No,_ he thinks, _You're my partner._ But at the same time, he knows that officially, Wheeler's taken that position, no matter what he has to say about it.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asks, finally, her voice breaking into his thoughts, and he realizes that he's remained silent for quite a while. He shrugs.

"It's nothing," he says, and rises to his feet, leaving money on the table. "Come with me."

"Where are we going?" she asks, and he shakes his head, indicating that he's not going to tell her.

When they end up on Staten Island, she isn't sure whether she expected it or whether she's surprised by it.

* * *

He shows up at the so-called police officer's ball by himself, because he couldn't stand the thought of asking anyone else. Eames had prodded at him for a while about it, but she'd left him alone when she'd gotten little response from him. She'd come with Goren, anyway, and no one would suspect the two of them of anything, because the whole department knows they're closer than partners normally are.

She sees him when he walks in, and walks over, alone, though he knows she's brought a date, since he can see the other man watching them from across the room.

"Might want to rethink what you're doing," he tells her. "Wouldn't want him to get the wrong idea."

"Yes, because I'm really going to let you get away with hitting on me," Carolyn replies dryly. "It's been a while."

And it has, too. It's been at least two weeks, maybe more, but he lost count, and doesn't really feel like trying to figure it out.

"Think he'll mind if you dance with me, just once?" he asks, and she shakes her head again.

"No, but I gotta warn you, if he decides to cut in, you'll have to give me up," she quips. He offers up a faint smile and leads her out onto the floor.

When the song ends, he is reluctant to let her go.

* * *

Life is such that relationships contain too much drama for their own good sometimes, and so she calls it off with this other guy, gives him back the promise ring, and focuses on her job, because it hurts.

"Sometimes I really hate being a profiler," she says to Eames, as the two of them sit next to each other at a bar near the headquarters building. "It makes people too easy to read."

"That explains a lot," Eames replies wryly, and Carolyn looks at her for a long moment, before smiling faintly.

"Knew it," she says, and doesn't have to elaborate, because the other woman already knows what she speaks of. "How long?"  
"After the letter," Eames says, quietly. "Guess you could call it a jump start. Couldn't very well have him going around thinking I was gonna walk any minute, could I?"  
And it's this that makes Carolyn feel guilty, because the rumors had been circulating long before she'd been transferred. And when Mike had asked her, she'd looked him dead in the eye and told him that she wasn't going anywhere.

And then she had gone.

* * *

Wheeler returns, and when she does, Carolyn goes back to Homicide. And when Mike looks at the desk across from his, he can't help but resent the woman he sees sitting there.

"Don't give me that look," Wheeler tells him. "You knew this was going to happen when I came back."

But there's a note of sympathy in her voice that he doesn't miss, and he shakes his head at her.

"I don't need your pity, Wheeler," he says, flatly. "I'm fine with this. As a matter of fact, I'm glad you're back."

She gives him a skeptical look. "Sure you are," she says, and swats at his hand when he grabs her chips off her desk and pops open the bag, eating a few of them before handing them back.

Later that day, she swipes a few M&M's from him, and they're even.

* * *

True to their word, not that they'd ever really agreed on it in the first place, the four of them drive out to Queens, and insist on dragging their former commander out with them.

"You four," says Deakins, shaking his head at them, "Whose brilliant idea was this, anyway?"

And they exchange glances, before laughing, and he doesn't get what they're laughing at, but after a moment, Eames answers.

"It was Barek's," she says, and ignores the mock-incensed look that Carolyn gives her. "Figured we'd give you another chance to keep an eye on us."

"Yes, because I really need an excuse to keep an eye on you, honestly…" comes the reply. "You lot are more of a handful than you ought to be."

Silence, for a split second, and then the five of them exchange glances, before looking away, quickly, in a vain attempt to keep from laughing.

It doesn't work.

* * *

He wanders in the rain, because he can, and because this sort of weather's always been oddly comforting to him. He used to spend hours as a child, just watching the raindrops, and still does it, even now.

When he goes back to the squad room, he's more wet than dry, and Wheeler looks at him with raised eyebrows.

"You're gonna catch a cold," she says. "You should head home and change. I'll cover for you."

But he shakes his head, because he has clothes there, and so he goes to the locker rooms, and changes, and comes back and sits across from her.

"It's fun walking in the rain," he tells her, "You should try it some time."

She shakes her head at him. "Thanks, but no thanks," she replies. "I'd rather rest assured I'm not going to wake up with a hell of a cold."  
A few days later, he does, but he comes to work anyway, because the apartment is empty, and he doesn't want to be alone.

* * *

She opens the door in the middle of the night to find him standing there, and stares, because she doesn't know what he's doing there. He holds up a pint of ice cream and a spoon.

"Heard about the breakup," he says, quietly. "Why didn't you say anything?"

She continues to stare at him, but moves so that he can walk in. "Didn't think it was worth mentioning," she replies. "Who told you?"

"Eames did," he says. "Seemed to think it would matter to me."

He makes it sound like it doesn't, and for a second, it hurts, but then she hears a note of something that she can't place and she wonders if it does.

"Does it matter to you?" she asks, before she can really think about it, and he looks at her for a long moment, before nodding.

"Yeah," he says, "Yeah, it matters." He pushes the carton of ice cream at her. "This is for you."

She looks at what flavor it is and laughs. "How'd you know?" she asks, wandering into the kitchen for a spoon. He shrugs.

"Saw you eating it once," he says. "Figured it was worth a shot."

And she laughs, because it hits her then that maybe between them, she's not the only one so good at reading people.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Finally, an update! I swear I work on too much at once...but I'm trying to balance it out. Anyway...I'll leave you all to read. **

* * *

Homicide suits her, she thinks, as she stands outside. It's like Major Case, but it's not. There's no high-profile, none of the brass breathing down her neck and her partner's…just straight, flat-out, run of the mill cases.

"She wasn't killed here," she says, and her partner nods.

"Dump job," he says. "There's no blood."

The rain is quickly ridding the area of any evidence that they might be able to use, which is annoying CSU, but she doesn't really mind, at least, not right now. She stares up at the cloudy sky and thinks of something Logan told her.

"Sometimes the rain is more than you think it is," he'd said, and she'd asked him what he'd meant, and he'd offered up a faint smile.

"When I was a kid," he'd told her, "Mom would be off in her own world, and whenever it rained…whenever it rained, I would be off in mine."

She watches the rain as her partner talks to CSU and to the medical examiner and wonders if that's where he is right now.

* * *

Wheeler pokes at him. "You sleep last night?" she asks, and Mike shakes his head, because he really didn't.

"Did you at least try?" she asks, quietly, and he nods, because he did.

"Don't want to talk about it," he says, running a tired hand over his face. "It's no big deal."

And it isn't, because it's happened to him before, these sleepless nights where he'll try as hard as he can to fall asleep, but it never seems to work.

"I'll be fine," he tells her, upon noticing her skeptical look. "I just need coffee…something to eat…"

Wheeler rolls her eyes. "Typical guy," she says. "Come on, we'll get breakfast." She rises to her feet and pulls her coat on. "I meant it."

He rises to his feet, and pulls his coat on as well. "I owe you," he says, as they leave the squad room. She shakes her head.

"Consider it my having your back."

* * *

The music reminds her of her life at the moment, and it bothers her because she doesn't want to be reminded.

"Why is it that we always fall for the ones that we're probably never going to end up with?" she asks, and Eames gives her a sideways look.

"What makes you think you're never going to end up with him?" she asks in reply, and Carolyn looks at her, startled, because she hadn't realized that the other woman would catch on.

"I don't know," she says dryly, "Maybe it's the fact that he's got a reputation, and I've got…I don't know what I've got, but…I don't know."

And this bothers her, too, because she doesn't like not knowing. Doesn't like being uncertain.

"Have you talked to him?" Eames asks, and Carolyn shakes her head, because she hasn't and it makes her feel guilty, because Logan really is a good guy, but at the same time…

"Sometimes I wish people wore signs that said off-limits," she says finally. "Maybe then this wouldn't be so hard."

* * *

He wanders around Staten Island. Oddly enough, this place feels like home, and even though he didn't like being there before, now he does. And he runs into her there.

"Fancy meeting you here," he says dryly, and she laughs, as she falls into step with him.

"It's nice to see you too," she says quietly. "What brings you out here?"  
"Felt like wandering," he says, "Lunch hour, you know. I'll probably be late getting back, but there you have it. What brings you to the island?"

"Baby shower," she says, "For a friend. I'm only on call today."

"Lucky," he says. "Must be nice, not having to worry about the high-profiles, no?"

She nods. "It's…interesting," she says. "Sometimes it's like the MCS, sometimes it's not."

"A job that has nothing to do with life," he says, and she nods.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." She steps closer to him, without noticing, and he doesn't notice, either.

When her arm slides through his, though, he does notice, and offers up a faint smile as he looks at her.

* * *

They include Wheeler in the next outing between the four of them.

"Figured it was about time to expand this little group of ours," says Mike, and Wheeler rolls her eyes at him.

"And I was the only one you could think of?" she asks dryly. "Love you too, Logan."  
Eames laughs. "You should tag along more often, Wheeler," she says. "We could always use another person."

"Is this what you guys do on the weekends?" Wheeler asks, and Mike nods, because it is.

"Yeah," he says. "Figured we'd let you in on the deep, dark secrets of the Major Case Squad. What do you think so far?"

"I'm not sure," Wheeler says, mildly. "Give me an hour or two and a few more drinks, and we'll see."

Carolyn laughs, and shakes her head. "You're fitting in already."

* * *

Later, they split up. Wheeler goes off in her own direction, while Eames leaves with Goren, and Mike and Carolyn remain where they are.

"So here we are again," she says, looking amused. "How's life been treating you since the last time we talked?"  
Mike shrugs, suddenly fascinated with the way her mouth moves and the way her eyes seem brighter than they did the last time they spoke.

"Could be better, could be worse. Somewhere in the middle," he replies. "And you?"  
"Same," she says. "Homicide is…I don't know what it is. Figure I might see about a transfer."

His heart skips a beat. "To where?" he asks, trying to keep the hopeful note out of his voice, because as much as he likes Wheeler, he really wants her back.

"Anywhere but Homicide," says Carolyn. "Preferably Major Case, but you've already got a partner, don't you?"

Mike looks at her with raised eyebrows. "Those things can change," he says, and she laughs.

"You looking to run Wheeler out?" she asks, and he shrugs, giving her an innocent look.

"No. I'm just saying that these things can change. She could be assigned to another partner."

Carolyn laughs again, and shakes her head. "I don't think it's gonna work that way, Mike," she says, dryly. "I'd love to come back to Major Case, though, even if I wasn't stuck with you."

He gives her a mock hurt look. "Stuck with me?" he asks, half-joking. "I love you, too, Barek."

And when she gives him an amused look, it hits him that in fact, he really does.

* * *

She kicks his foot, and he kicks hers back. They've been going at it for the better part of twenty minutes, and Ross hasn't noticed it yet, because he's in the office, and neither Mike nor Wheeler will say anything.

They will, however, stare at each other, an unofficial staring contest that threatens to make them both laugh.

"Give it up, Logan, you'll never win," says Wheeler, "I used to do this sort of thing on the task force."

"No wonder people think you're annoying," says Mike, half-joking. "I'll give it up if you do."

"Forget it. First one to forget to kick back is buying a round tonight."

"You're on."

And so they continue, because it's what they do, and because they're bored, because all they have left to do right now is paperwork, and it's getting on their nerves.

"You keep looking at the clock," says Mike. "You got a date tonight or something?"

"What's it to you?" Wheeler asks, looking at him with raised eyebrows, but she's smirking as she goes on. "Maybe I do."

"With who? Ross?"

She makes a face at him. "Yeah, right. Last I heard from the task force guys, he was seeing someone, and don't you dare tell him I told you that."  
"Wouldn't dream of it," says Mike, grinning at her, and then, "So who is he?"

"What's with the sudden concern?"

"What kind of cop would I be if I didn't know who my partner was seeing? Gotta be able to have your back, Wheeler."

She snorts. "I'll tell you my secret if you tell me yours," she says, and he shakes his head.

"You first."

* * *

They go dancing, because she decided he needed some sort of culture in his life, and he didn't have the heart to tell her no, so he went along.

"I have two left feet," he warns her. "I'm not kidding. Everyone I've ever danced with tells me when it's over that they can't walk."

Carolyn laughs. "Well, you haven't stepped on my feet yet, and I doubt it'll make a difference if you do; these shoes are killing me."

"You wanna tell me why you insisted on dragging Goren and Eames with us?" Mike asks.

"Because I figured it would be fun. Could be worse. They could've talked the captain and his wife into coming, too."

He gives her an amused look, because it's funny to him that even though they both now have different commanders, they still refer to Deakins as 'their captain'.

"A reason to send me out to Staten Island again," he says, mock-seriously. "The mere fact that I still, in all the time I've had, have not learned how to dance."

Carolyn shakes her head at him. "You're awful," she says, but she offers up a faint smile as she says this, so he doesn't take her seriously.

"You actually like this, don't you?" he asks, "Torturing me, making me dance, and have a decent conversation…"

"If it keeps you here with me, then yeah," she replies. "I haven't seen you in a while. Now quit complaining and be a gentleman."

"The one lesson I never got from my parents," says Mike, and silence falls between them for a long moment, before Carolyn reaches up to touch his face.

"I think you're doing fine on your own."

* * *

She once heard one of her friends comment about how every couple she knew had an embarrassing story or two to tell about earlier years. And now she knows exactly why this is, because she next time she sees him, she's just fallen flat on her face because she never could walk in those damn heels.

"Need a hand?" he asks, and she glares up at him, because it isn't funny, but at the same time it is. Even so, she takes the hand he offers.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, because she finally did transfer from Homicide and somehow ended up working at headquarters again, for the Chief of Detectives, of all people.

"I work here," he replies, and then, "Actually, I work three floors down, but there you have it."

At this, Carolyn rolls her eyes at him. "Seriously, Logan, what are you doing here?" she asks, and they walk.

"I came to see if you wanted to go home with me," he says, and laughs at the expression she gives him.

"Not like that," he says. "You know I wouldn't do that to you."

But he has once, and it is this that makes him feel slightly guilty, because he wants her to take him seriously, but the last time he asked her to come home with him, he hadn't been thinking straight.

"All right," she says, finally, and Mike feels something akin to relief settling over him. "You know the boundaries."

He laughs, because he does, and because it's such a Carolyn thing to say, and because he wouldn't have expected anything less from her.

"I know the boundaries," he says. "D'you want me to come get you?"

She shakes her head. "I know where you live," she says, in a tone quite different from the one she was using before. "What time?"

"Um…'round seven. That all right with you?"

"I'll be there."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I think my muse finally agrees with me, so here's to hoping. **

* * *

He cooks. He doesn't know why, because he usually avoids it if he can, and has ever since one of his cousins told him that he was actually good at it. But for some reason, he can't stand the thought of takeout, because it's her, and he feels that she deserves better than that. So he cooks.

"…you know, it's kinda hard trying to balance the phone while I'm trying to keep from burning myself," he remarks.

"You're the one that called me," comes the reply, from Goren, who sounds more than just a little bit amused. "Don't light yourself on fire."

Mike gives the phone a look. "You're not funny," he said. "I'm already on edge about this as it is; I can't believe I couldn't just take her out…"

"You two have probably been to every coffee shop in Manhattan, and a fair amount of restaurants, too," Goren points out. "Most of the time, change is good."

"Yeah, we'll see." Mike stirs the sauce he has going, absently, and shifts the phone again. "What d'you think the odds are that by the end of the night, whatever I'm making right now ends up in my face?"

"Don't piss her off, and it won't," says Goren, dryly. "You're worse than I was, you know that?"

Mike snorts. "I doubt that, somehow," he says, and then, "How'd you figure out that it was her?"

Somehow, Goren knows what he means, even without his elaborating, and answers. "She stuck around. She was the only one who ever did."

Mike laughs at this, even though he knows he really shouldn't. "Well, Barek left me. What does that tell you?"

"I can't read minds, Logan."

Could've fooled me, Mike thinks, but waits for the other man to go on, because he knows that he will. Sure enough, he does.

"I think it means that something happened to make her realize something, and she needs to clear her head."

"So in other words, she wanted to get away from me."  
"If she wanted to get away from you, Mike, you'd have never seen her once she left Major Case."

* * *

She paces. And at the same time, she glares at Eames, who has an amused expression on her face. 

"It's not funny," she insists. "I should've just told him no; heaven only knows what's going to happen…"

"I doubt even Logan would be stupid enough to try anything with you. We might be small, but we can kick their asses, and they know it."

"Suppose that's why Goren never tried anything with you?" Carolyn asks, looking at the other woman with raised eyebrows. Eames snorts.

"Are you kidding? I made the first move," she says. "No one ever said it's always got to be the guy that does it, y'know."

And she does, because she's heard it a million times before, and she's never listened to it until now. She wonders how many of these moments between her and Mike could be taken as one of them making a first move, and decides she doesn't want to know. She looks down at her outfit and scowls.

"I can't wear this," she says, "I look ridiculous, and I hate him for not telling me what I should wear."

"Well, there's Logan for you," says Eames, wandering back into the bedroom after Carolyn, and sitting on the bed. "He probably wanted to keep you on your toes."

"Yeah, and knowing me, I'm going to end up overdressed," says Carolyn, who's disappeared into the closet. "I can't believe this."

"But you're going," Eames points out, "That's got to mean something. Especially since you didn't slap him for the way he asked you."

"I almost did," Carolyn admits. "I didn't think he was serious. Like that time where IAD was trying to jam him over that shooting…"

Eames looks at her with raised eyebrows. "Do tell," she says. "What happened that night?"

"IAD was all around, an undercover was in the hospital because of Mike and he was just out of it. I doubt he knew half of what he was saying, so I didn't hold it against him…much."

"Did he even tell you why he wants you to come over, or did he just ask you over for no reason?" Eames asks, and Carolyn comes out of the closet, frowning slightly.

"He didn't tell me why," she says. "I'm hoping it's not anything that I'm not going to want to hear or deal with."

There is silence between the two women as Carolyn looks down at this latest outfit and sighs. "What do you think of this one?"

* * *

It's five to seven when she shows up in front of his apartment building. And she wonders for a moment if she should turn and walk away, but decides that she isn't going to. Before she can push the button next to his name, though, he's there. 

"That was fast," she remarks, as he lets her in, and he laughs, nervously.

"Figured it wouldn't do to make you wait," he says. "Gotta warn you though, we're gonna have to walk up."

She bends down to take off her shoes. "All set," she says, smiling up at him. "Let's go."

So they do. And he carries her shoes, because he insists on it, and Carolyn looks at him while they walk and wonders why he seems so nervous.

"You all right?" she asks, and he looks back at her, smiling faintly.

"Yeah," he says, "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just…last time I asked you to come home with me, you wanted to kill me and this time….you don't."

"You asked me nicely," she says, mock-seriously and he laughs, and this time, he doesn't sound nervous.

"Well, you might wanna kill me before the night is over, so I'm going to apologize in advance for any idiotic thing I might do," he says, and pushes open his apartment door. She steps inside, and he follows.

"Wow," she says, looking at him, "I don't…Mike, you didn't have to do all this…"

"Well, it's been two years," he says, shifting on his feet. "Since we were first partners, I mean. I…ah…well, it means a lot to me, even if we're not partners anymore."

She laughs, and shakes her head at him. "Maybe not in the department sense."

And he looks at her for a long moment after she says this, and wonders what she means.

* * *

He puts music on because she asked him to, and she tugs him to his feet after he sits again. 

"Now you're going to dance with me," she says, and he rolls his eyes.

"Carolyn, I gotta tell you, I think you enjoy tormenting me," he says, but allows himself to be led into the middle of the main room of the place.

"So it torments you to be with me?" she asks, looking at him with raised eyebrows. Mike shakes his head.

"That's not what I meant," he replies, "But you know I hate to dance."

"But you're doing it," Carolyn points out, "That's gotta mean you like it on some level, otherwise you'd have told me to shove it."

"I'm supposed to be a gentleman, remember?" Mike says dryly. "One that doesn't tell a lady to shove it."

Carolyn laughs. "You aren't afraid of me, now, are you, Mike?" she asks. He gives her a mock-annoyed look.

"No, I'm not afraid of you," he says. "Maybe when you're pissed off at me, but otherwise, no."

"I didn't think so," comes the reply. The song changes, to a slower-paced one than the one that had been playing. She moves closer and leans forward so that her head is on his shoulder.

"I could get used to this, you know," he tells her, almost warningly, and she chuckles softly.

"So could I."

* * *

The next morning, she wakes up and finds him sprawled out on the floor, because somewhere along the line, he'd decided that it was more comfortable, and he'd given her the bed, so he'd stayed in the main room. But he looks as if he's fallen off, and it makes her laugh, enough so that he wakes up. 

"Morning," he says, drowsily, "I've got coffee around here someplace if I remembered to buy some last time I went to the store."

Carolyn shakes her head at him. "Go change," she says. "I'll buy you coffee…breakfast, even."

"Ah, you do know the way to a man's heart," says Mike, grinning at her as he gets up, slowly, and heads back to the bedroom so he can change. Carolyn snorts.

"I know the way to your heart, anyway," she says, loudly, as she wanders into the kitchen for a glass of water. "Any place in particular you wanna go?"

"No, not really," says Mike, his voice muffled by the shirt he's pulling over his head. "You pick."

And she remembers vaguely that the last time they went out, just the two of them, he'd picked. A faint smile crosses her face at the fact that he's remembered this.

"I had fun last night," she says, as they leave his apartment. "Thanks for having me over."

He shakes his head. "You don't have to thank me," he says, "You know my door's open."

"It was closed when I got here."

"You know what I meant."

And she does, and it makes her happy to hear this, because at the beginning, he'd seemed distant, but now, she thinks she knows him a lot better than she's ever known any of her other partners.

"I do," she says, and slides her arm through his as they walk. He looks down at her, and laughs.

* * *

Wheeler notices something different about her partner when she comes in to work a few minutes after he sits at his desk. 

"Something happen last night?" she asks, and he looks at her for a minute before taking a bag of M&M's from his desk, and offering her some.

"Now I know something happened," says Wheeler, smirking as she takes a few. "You have a date last night?"  
"Not exactly a date," says Mike, looking amused. "By the way, how'd yours go, anyway?"  
"Could've gone better, but it was fine," says Wheeler, "Remind me never to go rollerblading again."

"You're kidding me, right?" Mike asks, and Wheeler shakes her head.

"Nah. I'm serious. I'm pretty bad at it, but other than that, everything went fine. I think I might actually like this guy."

"You ever gonna tell me who he is?"

"You'll meet him sooner or later. He's a cop. Out of the two-four in the Bronx."

"I always said dating a cop was more fun than dating anyone else."

* * *

Undefined. That's how she thinks of him, and it strikes her as almost amusing, because there's got to be a word that describes Mike Logan, but she can't for the life of her figure out what it is. Two days after their 'date' at his place, it's her birthday, and somehow he's found out about this, and sent flowers. 

"I can't believe this," she says, to Eames, at the end of the day, for what feels like the millionth time since this so-called game between her and Mike began. "How'd he know?"

"I told him," says Eames, looking unapologetic. "He wanted to know, so he asked. What'd the card say?"

"Nothing that would give him away," says Carolyn. "Just 'Happy Birthday', really."

"Better than nothing," says Eames, and then, "All I have to ask now is how he knew what your favorite flowers were."

"I must've mentioned it at one point or another," says Carolyn, "That's the only thing I can think of, unless he guessed."

"Guessing is why most guys tend to go with roses," Eames replies. "You ask me, I think he chose something else because he didn't want to make like you were just another woman."

Carolyn looks at the other woman then, startled, and wonders what she means, but her pager goes off before she has the chance to ask.

* * *

They play pool, but Mike's too distracted to really pay attention, so he loses the first game. 

"Why do I even bother playing with you anymore?" he asks, and Goren looks over at him, amused.

"Because you have nothing better to do," he says. "At least we haven't bet anything."

"I'd be broke before the end of the night," says Mike, shaking his head as he goes on. "Why is it so damn complicated?"

"Why is what so complicated?"

"Love."

At this, Goren looks at him with raised eyebrows, an expression that he ignores as he continues. "I swear it's worse than any case I've ever worked. At least I've managed to get some sort of answer from those."

"And you don't think you're going to get an answer from this…thing you have with Barek?"

"It's not a 'thing'," Mike retorts, "I don't know what it is, and I'd like to know, but at the same time, I'm not sure I want to know."

"What are the odds that anyone you knew from the two-seven has a bet that one of these days you'll settle down?"  
"I don't know. You could track 'em down and ask 'em, but I don't care about what stupid bets they have going."

"What do you care about then? A relationship, with Barek?"

"If that's what's meant to happen."

"What makes you think it's not?"  
"Don't ask."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I think I just figured something out, so...here goes nothing. **

* * *

"So, did you know about the lilies, or did you just ask Eames?"

The question comes unexpectedly, and Mike looks up, startled when he sees Carolyn beside his desk.

"I guessed," he admits. "I didn't think roses seemed…appropriate, if you will. They were the only other thing I could think of."

Carolyn laughs. "There are so many other flowers in this world, and all you could think of was lilies," she says, and shakes her head. "You'll never cease to amaze me, Mike."

"You aren't allergic to them," he says, anxiously, more of a question than a statement, but she shakes her head again.

"If I was, I wouldn't be here to thank you for them," she replies. "They're beautiful."

He looks way, not wanting her to see the faint smile on his face. "Glad you liked 'em. Figured I'd send you something, since I couldn't get off work to sweep you off your feet for a night."  
She laughs. "What a charmer," she says, amused. "Suppose I could talk you into taking a walk with me, if you're off shift?"  
He looks at the clock, and nods, rising to his feet. "Yeah, you can," he says, and then, before he can stop himself. "You could probably talk me into anything."

* * *

Fall in New York City is one of those things that comes and is only noticed because of the temperatures. They became partners in September, and it's been two years, and they're still somewhat close. It's more than he can say about other partners.

"How many have you had, anyway?" she asks, as they walk, with ice cream in hand, because she'd had a sudden desire for it.

"Seven," he says. "Since I became a detective, I've had seven." And he rattles off their last names. "Greevey, Cerreta, Briscoe, Boyer, Silvera, you and Wheeler."

"That's a lot," she observes, quietly, and he nods, but looks away from her.

"Yeah, it is," he says. "Long career, long list of partners. Only a few commanders."

"How many of those?"

"Five. Cragen, Van Buren, Stolper, Deakins and Ross. Too many names to remember," he says, and they leave it at that. Silence lingers for a moment, and finally she stops, moves in front of him so that he stops, too, and reaches up to brush his hair back out of his eyes, because somehow, it's fallen there.

"One of these days, you're gonna tell me your secrets," she tells him quietly, and he can't help but think as she speaks that she might just be right.

* * *

A few days later, he gets sick. And he wants to go to work, but at the same time he doesn't, so he calls and tells Wheeler that he won't be in, 'cause he can barely move, doesn't know what he has, and isn't looking to pass it along to anyone else.

"Hope you feel better," Wheeler says over the phone. "I'll let the captain know where you are."

"Thanks," he says, and wonders why he can hardly speak. He hangs up after that, and falls asleep.

When he wakes up again, she's there. "What're you doing here?" he asks, almost inaudibly, because he started losing his voice while he was talking to Wheeler.

"Your partner seemed to think it would be a good idea to call me," Carolyn says, looking almost amused by this.

"You're my partner, "Mike mumbles, before turning so that he isn't facing her. "Don't want you to get sick."

"Let me worry about that," she says. "You just…go back to sleep."

But he doesn't want to, because he's almost afraid that when he wakes up again, she'll be gone, and he's half-tempted to think it's a dream that she's even there as it is. And he doesn't want to admit this to her, but somehow she knows, because she pushes gently at him until he moves over, and then she takes up the empty space.

"Don't worry," she tells him quietly, "I'm not going anywhere."  
"…think you know me too well," he says, or at least, that's what she thinks he's said, because she doesn't really understand him, given the fact that he can barely speak and he isn't facing her.

"Well, it's better than not knowing you at all," she replies, and waits for an answer, but hears only the even breathing of sleep in reply.

She never thought playing the nurse would be interesting, but she wakes up a little while later to find that she's still there in the bed with Mike, which doesn't really surprise her. She hadn't moved, like she had promised him she wouldn't. And he was still asleep.

She reached out to put a hand on his forehead, relieved to see that the earlier fever had broken, for the moment. His eyes opened almost immediately.

"…startled me," he mumbles, still in that same almost inaudible voice. "Thought you were someone else."

She doesn't ask who. "You want something to drink?" she asks, softly. "That might help."

He nods, mutely, and rolls over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. "Y'know, no one's ever really bothered…to do this before…ought to tell Wheeler not to call you next time…don't want to be a pain."  
"You aren't a pain, Mike," she says. "I was…hoping I'd get to see you today…just didn't think you'd be sick."  
Somehow he manages to laugh. "Suppose you'd give me a pass if I told you that I loved you, then," he says, and dead silence falls. She wants to believe that it's because he really means it, but…

"Have you taken any medicine today?" she asks, slowly, and he smirks faintly at her.

"Cough medicine after I called Wheeler," he admits, "But nothing else. Why?"  
And she shakes her head, and goes to get him something to drink, without answering him.

* * *

When he goes to work again, Wheeler gives him an apologetic look. "Hope you aren't mad that I called Barek," she says, by way of apology. "I couldn't get off to come check on you myself."  
Mike gives her an amused look. "I'm not mad," he says. "I'm just…glad I didn't have to be alone."

He has told Wheeler nothing of his past, but Barek knows little bits of it, here and there, things he's told her because it seemed to fit. He didn't tell her anything two days ago, but he has the feeling that she figured it out on her own, because she stayed. No one has ever stayed before.

"M&M's on the desk," says Wheeler. "Figured I'd get you a welcome back present."

He laughs. "Nice, Wheeler." But he opens the package anyway and holds it out to her. "Want a few?"

"Sure, why not?" She takes a few and pops one into her mouth. "You're gonna ruin my figure, Logan."  
He snorts. "What figure?" he asks, and gets an M&M thrown at his head. He gives Wheeler a mock-annoyed look. "I'm kidding."

"So you notice me."

"Any chance you'll nail me with a sexual harassment suit if I tell you the truth?"  
"If you lie to me, maybe. Otherwise, no."

"Well, then, yeah. I notice you. Kinda hard not to when you're right in front of me."

But he feels guilty when he tells her this, and he knows exactly why this is.

* * *

"If I were to tell you that I was thinking about asking someone out…like, really asking her out, what would you tell me?"

"I'd tell you that it's about damn time. What've you been waiting for, anyway?"  
This is certainly an interesting conversation, Mike thinks, and shakes his head. "Your shot," he says, and then, "I don't know if I'm gonna go through with it, though. I don't wanna ruin what we've already got."  
"What makes you think you'd ruin it?" Goren asks, taking the shot, and then leaning back. "She's stuck with you this far, hasn't she?"

"Well, yeah, but as a friend; I don't really expect her to want anything more than that, you know?"  
"Used to be a point where I could say the same thing about Eames." comes the reply. Mike rolls his eyes.

"Come off it, Bobby, you and Alex knew each other five, six years before anything happened."  
"It doesn't necessarily have to take that long to start something, y'know. I just…waited."

"You were afraid Alex was gonna knock you a good one, that's what happened. Can't say I blame you."

"If I tell her you said that, she's gonna knock _you_ a good one. Your shot."

Silence, and after Mike takes the shot, he speaks again. "You think it could work?" he asks, almost uncertainly. Goren gives him a sideways glance, and then nods.

"If you do it the right way, it will," he says, and then, "You've lost again."

* * *

The Chief of Detectives is irritated with the Major Case Squad again. Carolyn knows this because he's been griping about it all morning, and she's learned to tune him out. She thinks it's funny, somewhat, because now that she's on this end of things, she can find it amusing.

"It makes me miss you guys even more," she says, later, to Eames. "I never really thought I'd miss getting snarked at by the hierarchy."  
"Well, at least you can tell us what's going on before it all hits the fan," says Eames, looking amused by this complaint. "What's he pissed off at this time?"  
"I don't think it's any of you guys, as much as it is the new captain…" Carolyn trails off and shakes her head. "Look at this. It's pathetic. Two years, and we're still calling him the new guy."

"I think we all know his name, it's just that none of us can be bothered to use it," Eames replies mildly. "I think it's actually got to be worse working for him than it is to work for the hierarchy."

"Maybe," says Carolyn, not sounding all that convinced. "What would you say if I told you that Logan told me he loved me the other day?"

"I'd ask if you'd both been drinking," says Eames, and then, "Actually, I'd be inclined to think that he means it."

"Well, he was on cough medicine," says Carolyn, shaking her head. "I'd…like to think he means it, but…you know what that stuff does to people."

Eames shakes her head. "I know what it does to Bobby. What it does to Logan, I couldn't tell you. Did you ask him?"  
Carolyn looks away. "No," she admits, "I didn't ask him. I didn't…think it would be right."

"Well, sure it would be. He can't just say that to you and not give an explanation."

"I doubt any guy has a real explanation for saying what they do."

* * *

Wheeler gets a lead about her father. It's unexpected, and it has her rattled, and Mike can tell, because she takes the M&M's without asking, but he knows something's bothering her, so he doesn't say anything. Besides that, a few moments before, he'd taken her chips, so he figures now they're even.

"I can't believe this," she says, finally, after a long moment of silence. "All that looking the first time, and nothing, and suddenly, this."

"You think it might actually lead you to him?" Mike asks, and Wheeler gives a derisive snort.

"If he hasn't found out that I'm onto him by now," she says, sarcastically. "I swear, though, even if you didn't know the whole story, you'd think that all the Wheeler women are cursed."

"That guy break up with you or something?" Mike asks, looking over at her with raised eyebrows. "I'll be forced to kick his ass if that's the case."  
Wheeler shakes her head. "No," she says. "No, it's good so far, but I just can't help but think that it's gonna get screwed up one day, you know?"

"Yeah," says Mike, because he does, even though he's a guy, and usually the one doing the breaking up, which he finds ridiculous sometimes, but that's just the way it's gone so far. Wheeler shakes her head again.

"What am I gonna do if I find him?" she asks, almost inaudibly. "I haven't seen him since I was ten. I never thought I'd end up trying to track him down, you know?"  
"Honestly, I'm not surprised you did," says Mike, slowly. "It's…not really that strange for a kid to want answers when a parent just up and leaves."  
Wheeler gives a rueful laugh. "My mom used to say it was because he didn't like the city, but one day I pointed out to her that if he didn't like the city, we could've just moved to Jersey or something, and she never said it again."

Reality was harsh sometimes, Mike thought then, without saying anything. He could imagine what his partner's family had gone through, but at the same time he couldn't.

"You let me know if you need anything," he says, finally. "You know how to find me."  
Wheeler looks at him for a moment, and then nods, mutely.

* * *

When the four of them go out for drinks again, he invites Wheeler to come along this time, too, but she declines.

"Nah," she says, "I got something planned already."

He gives her an amused look. "You tell that guy he better treat you right," he says, rising to his feet and reaching for that leather jacket of his. "Otherwise he'll have me to deal with."

She laughs. "Go on, get out of here, Logan," she says, and so he does. And when he gets to the place where the others have agreed to meet up, they're already there.

"Nice of you to show," says Eames, and Mike notices that she and Goren have conveniently left the place beside Carolyn wide open. Talk about awkward, he thinks, but sits anyway.

"Figured I could spare a moment of my time for the lot of you," he says, smirking. "What'd I miss?"

"A discussion about life and love, so far," says Goren, looking somewhat amused. "Nothing much."  
"Life and love, huh?" says Mike, and can't help but think of Holly Lauren for a moment before going on. "What about it?"

"Everything. Ups and downs, highs and lows…relationships that last for two seconds, and ones that last forever," says Eames, "Or rather, for what seems like forever…"  
"Seven years is a long time, you know," says Carolyn, giving the other woman an amused look.

"Two years is a long time, too," Eames replies, pointedly, and Mike looks at Goren for a moment, and the two of them shake their heads.

"I think you're both reading too much into it," says Mike, but at the same time, he isn't all that sure.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: And here goes nothing...**

* * *

She hears the various snippets of conversation all day long, and she doesn't pay much attention, because it never seems to matter. The only time she really pays attention is when the Chief of D's is talking, because, after all, she works for the guy, and it wouldn't do to be caught off guard.

"…yeah, I heard there were a couple officers down…"  
"Damn shame. I tell you, anyone with a gold shield is a moving target these days…what squad?"

"I heard Major Case, but I'm not sure."  
Suddenly, Carolyn's head snaps up, and she stares intently at the two people who are speaking. They're unaware of her as they continue on with their conversation.

"I suppose we'll find out soon enough…any idea who might've been involved?"  
"Heard something about that hothead they pulled in from the island couple of years ago."

Carolyn gets up at this point, not caring if they've noticed her listening. Glaring at both of them as she leaves the office, she runs for the elevator as soon as she's out of sight, and waits, impatiently, for a moment before deciding to take the stairs to the eleventh floor.

* * *

Wheeler sits in the captain's office, fighting the desire to give in to what she really wants to do, which is hide her face in her hands and cry. But as it is, there's blood on her clothes, and Barek's going to kill her, and to say that she's in shock is an understatement.

"What happened?" Ross asks, and his voice breaks into her thoughts, forcing her to look up. There's quiet for a moment, as she struggles to find the words she's looking for, but in the end, she gives the answer that's most likely to piss him off, because there isn't anything else to say.

"I don't know," she says, and isn't surprised to hear a hitch in her voice. All her time on that task force, and she'd never seen any one of her colleagues shot, but now…She goes on, before she can dissolve completely into something she isn't sure she wants to figure out. "We were walking…he said he wanted to walk, that it wasn't that far from here, and all of a sudden, he goes down…I didn't see anything."  
Suddenly anger takes over whatever emotions had been there before. "Don't take me off this case." It's more a statement than a question, an order, she thinks wryly as Ross looks at her for a long moment before shaking his head.

"I won't," he says, "But I don't want you out there by yourself."  
"I have Goren and Eames," says Wheeler, and wonders if she's speaking too soon, but the office door opens and in comes Eames, followed by her partner, and both of them look furious, and scared at the same time, and it rattles her even more, because she's never seen them like this before.

"You two," says Ross, before any of them can speak. "To the scene. Wheeler, go home and change your clothes, come back if you want."  
They leave. Wheeler looks at the older detectives, and they look back at her, before leaving, without a word.

She goes home and changes, but instead of going back to the squad room, she goes to the hospital.

* * *

When she looks up and sees Wheeler there, she's half tempted to yell, to tell her to leave, that she has no right to be there, but Carolyn is nothing if not someone who knows how these things go, and she knows somewhere inside that mind of hers that Wheeler does have a right to be there. She is, after all, currently Mike's partner.

"You know, I think it'd almost be better if you did yell at me," Wheeler remarks after a long moment of silence, but Carolyn shakes her head.

"I have the feeling you've already been put through the wringer on the work front," she says, quietly. "Maybe later."

"I didn't even see them…" Wheeler trails off, knowing that she sounds upset, and hating it. "He said he wanted to walk…damn it, I should've just told him we were gonna drive…"

"Suppose you could say it's my fault he wanted to walk," says Carolyn, shaking her head. "We did that a lot when we were partners."

"Told me he never liked walking before he met you," Wheeler mumbles, staring down at her feet. Carolyn eyes the younger woman for a long moment, a soft laugh escaping her as she does.

"He didn't," she says. "I used to tell him he was only going to get fat if he kept eating like he does and driving everywhere, so he finally stopped fighting me when I told him we were gonna walk."  
Wheeler looks up, an amused look crossing her tired face. "You really said that to him?" she asks, and Carolyn nods.

"You should've seen his face," she says, relieved that they can talk about the good moments instead of dwelling on this. "Thought he was going to have a fit."

This time, Wheeler is the one laughing softly. "Yeah, that sounds like him."  
Silence falls between the two of them, awkward, but somehow comfortable at the same time. When Wheeler's cell phone goes off, she looks at the caller ID, and leaves the room, leaving Carolyn on her own.

* * *

It's how Goren and Eames find her when they arrive at the end of the day. They have come, but Wheeler has not returned.

"Ross sent her home," says Eames, by way of explanation. "She's not…handling this well."

Carolyn snorts. "Lovely," she says, sarcastically. "She's not handling this well…hell, no one's handling this well, and all the damn department can do is…never mind." She trails off, frustrated, and motions towards the waiting room doors. "No one will tell me anything."  
"Maybe there isn't anything to tell yet," Eames remarks, slowly, but Carolyn shakes her head.

"There's got to be something. He's alive, he's dead, still in surgery, recovery, whatever…" She trails off again, sounding close to tears. "I can't do this."  
"It doesn't look like it was random," says Goren, without thinking. "Could be related to a case."

Eames gives him an annoyed look, but Carolyn nods. "Could be," she says. "It's…already all over the department."

"We were going to call you," Eames tells her, quietly, "How did you find out?"  
"Heard some people talking about it upstairs," Carolyn mumbles, staring at her hands. "They were making comments. I went down to the squad room before I could say anything to them."

Silence falls. She realizes her hands are shaking and tries in vain to make them stop, but it doesn't work. "I wish I was still on the eleventh floor."

But she can't be, and she knows it, and even if she wanted to be, it'd never work, because she's heard Eames griping about the 'new captain' as they still call him, behind his back, anyway, and she knows just from what she's heard that he probably wouldn't allow it. Especially not now.

"I'd suggest getting the Chief of D's to make an exception, but I doubt he'll run with it," Goren remarks, finally. "I don't think he likes us much."

Carolyn bites back the desire to laugh, but doesn't confirm or deny this statement. "It'll get better," she says, finally, more to herself than to the other two detectives. "It has to."

But it doesn't, and she knows it, and this is the problem.

* * *

By the time the doctors come, hours later, when darkness has fallen over the city, and the streetlights have come on, and most people are at home, asleep, Deakins is there.

"The surgery went well," say the doctors, to him, rather than to the detectives, who aren't really family, and neither is he, technically, but somehow, he ended up being listed as the one having authority to make the medical decisions concerning Mike, and so he listens, and so do the other three. "He's in recovery now. You should be able to see him by morning, but he'll have to stay here for a while."

And then they're gone. It dawns on the four of them as they sit there that it is morning, even if it isn't light outside, but none of them move.

"You lot never could keep yourself out of trouble, could you?" Deakins asks, after a moment, and shakes his head as he goes on. "What happened?"  
Carolyn says nothing. Goren and Eames exchange glances, and proceed to fill him in, as much as they know about it, which isn't much, considering that no one saw anything, and the only witness is Wheeler, but none of them really think she saw anything, either.

Deakins shakes his head again, once the other two trail off. "Makes me wish I was still out there with you lot," he says, without looking any of them directly in the eye. "Probably wouldn't have done any good."

"You're here now," says Carolyn, the first she's spoken since he showed up. "That's better than nothing."

"I second that notion," says Eames, and then, "We're gonna find this guy. I don't care how many cases we've got to drop on someone else, we're going to find who did this."

There's silence. Carolyn looks at the other four and can't help but think that it's the 'real' Major Case Squad, reunited again, because for that year where it was the five of them together, everything seemed perfect, and now, everything's been turned upside down, and inside out.

And now, one of the five is hanging in the balance, and only time will tell if he'll be able to join them again.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Another update. Hopefully, I'll have the next one up within the next few days. **

* * *

He wakes up and blinks, before scowling slightly, because he knows he's in a hospital, but he doesn't know why, and he wants answers.

"Good to see you've joined us again, Detective Logan," says an unfamiliar voice, and then, "How are you feeling?"  
"I feel like hell," says Mike, sounding tired and annoyed at the same time. "What the hell happened?"  
"You were shot," says the unfamiliar voice again, and Mike shakes his head, wishing immediately that he hadn't, because if he really has been shot, then he must have hit it on something when he fell.

"My partner," he gasps out finally, when the pain subsides enough for him to speak. "Where's my partner? Is she all right?"

"Detective Wheeler is just fine," says the unfamiliar voice, and Mike blinks again, and sees a doctor. "She isn't here at the moment, but she was here soon after the ambulance came."

He doesn't know whether to feel relieved or somewhat annoyed that Wheeler isn't there, and then he remembers a random conversation they had, in which she said she'd never seen any of her colleagues shot before. He figures she isn't handling it well, and that Ross sent her home. But it bothers him, because it doesn't appear as if anyone else is there.

"How long do I have to stay here?" he asks, flatly, because he's always hated places like this, and the last time he can remember being in a hospital, he and Wheeler had just had their asses handed to them by a bunch of FDNY guys, never mind the fact that they'd been outnumbered.

"You've got quite a stay ahead of you, Detective. Three bullets, three different places. You're lucky you made it."

But he doesn't need to be told this, and forgets himself for a moment, so he shakes his head. The pain is a quick reminder that he isn't invincible, and never was.

* * *

"Family only," says the doctor that comes to inform them that Mike is awake, and all four of those present glare at him.

"We're the only family he's got," they say, flatly, and the doctor bites back the desire to roll his eyes, because he's dealt with wounded cops before, and all the squads are the same, claiming that they're family, no matter what anyone else says. He's learned to take them for their word. It's better than getting in an argument.

"One at a time, then," he says, "And no more. Not just yet. I know you all want to see him, but we don't want any adverse effects taking place here."

They nod their agreement at once, knowing that it's better than nothing, and silence lingers between them as they look at each other.

"You should go first," says Eames, to Carolyn, who gives her a startled look before looking towards the other two. Both of them nod. She runs a tired hand through her hair and tries, reluctantly, to protest.

"I look like hell," she says, "I don't want him to have to see me like this…"  
It's a futile argument, and she knows it. Eames pushes her gently towards the waiting room doors.

"I'm sure he's not going to care," she says. "Just go."

And so she does, because she really does want to, and because she knows it'll hurt the both of them if he gets the impression that she no longer cares.

* * *

"You came." His voice is quiet as she enters the room, and she bites her lip, wondering why her eyes have suddenly filled with tears.

"You idiot," she says, with the same sort of partner's affection that comes so easily now that the two of them are more than just a little bit used to each other. "You scared me."

And she realizes as she sits that the words are true; she'd never been more scared than in those moments when she'd first entered the MCS squad room, not as a member of a squad scrambling to respond to a scene where one of their own had fallen, but as an outsider. She'd spoken to Ross, briefly, to get the basic information of what had happened, and then she'd left, coming straight here.

"And here I was thinking you were the unbreakable one," Mike says quietly, and she gives him a look, wiping at her eyes.

"You jerk," she says, "That's not funny. I'm serious. You scared the hell out of me, and then I came here, and no one would tell me a damn thing…" She trails off, and continues to glare at him. He glares back, and after a moment, both of them look away.

"You looked away first; you owe me a drink," he tells her, and she shakes her head at him.

"When you're out of here and off the meds," she tells him. "Then I'll buy you a drink, but not before."  
"What's with you and always looking after me?" he asks, and she freezes, startled by the question. He eyes her carefully, and then reaches for her hand, tentatively.

"Would I be wrong if I asked you if you cared?" he asks, and she stares at him, for a long moment, before shaking her head.

* * *

Wheeler tags along with them. She refused to be taken off the case, but she's out a partner, and the department's after blood, particularly Major Case. So she tags along, and they let her, because they want the one who's taken Mike down as badly as she does.

"…hit from the back, and then from the side," says Goren, eyeing the setup that CSU has going. "Either two different shooters, or he turned."

"He turned," says Wheeler, slowly, thinking back on the day before, when all of this began. "After the first shot. He didn't think he'd been hit."

"No, of course not," says Goren, absently, "Delayed reaction."

"He fell after the second shot," said Wheeler, and Eames nods.

"Makes sense," she says, and then, "Looks like the shots were fired from over there."  
Wheeler looks. An apartment building. Suddenly she feels sick. They'd been arguing, she and Mike, over which was the right one to go to. The one Eames is pointing at is the one she'd been insisting on. She was right, now, but the victory is a hollow one.

"We'll need a warrant before we can go barging in," says Goren's voice, breaking into her thoughts, and she looks at him, and he goes on. "Think we might be able to get the ADA to agree?"

She realizes vaguely that they don't work with one ADA specifically anymore, ever since Ron Carver left, and she nods. "Probably," she says, because she can't think of anything else. The two older detectives exchange glances.

"You sure you want to handle this?" Eames asks, but before she can go on, Wheeler nods, giving her a look without really meaning to.

"He's my partner," she says, firmly. "I'm sure."

* * *

She stays with him. The Chief of Detectives took one look at her when she reported for work later on the day after he'd been shot and told her to take a few days off. She'd wondered why, but hadn't asked. And now she sits, in the hospital, trying to keep Mike occupied.

"I don't see why you bother," he says, sounding annoyed. "Nothing you do is gonna keep me from being bored out of my mind."

"Well, at least you have someone to talk to, other than the doctors," Carolyn points out, sounding amused. "Come on, Mike, it's not really that bad."

"Yeah, I could be dead, right?" he asks, sarcastically. "Then you wouldn't have to worry about sitting here and keeping an eye on me."

She gives him a pained look. "I'm here because I want to be," she says, quietly. "Is that so hard for you to believe?"  
He snorts, and looks away. "I don't see why you should care," he says. "I'd be perfectly fine here on my own."

"You'd be a pain in the backside and you know it," says Carolyn, shaking her head at him. He smirks at her.

"Nothing worse than the usual, then," he says, sarcastically. "You know, it could be worse. You could be my mother."  
She doesn't miss the bitter note in his voice, and waits. After a moment, he goes on. "She'd have waited just long enough to hear that I was alive, and then she'd be gone."

That's awful, Carolyn thinks, a hot feeling of anger fleeting through her for a split second before it disappears. She says nothing, though. Instead, she reaches for his hand, and gently rubs her thumb over the back of it.

"I'm not your mother," she says, "And I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

When he finally sleeps, she cries. And this is how Eames finds her, because Goren stayed behind in the squad room to finish something with Wheeler, with the promise that he would meet them there later.

"I hate this," says Carolyn, when she finally has her voice under control. "I hate seeing him like this and knowing that I can't do anything about it."

"I should think you're doing something just by being here," Eames remarks, but Carolyn shakes her head.

"It's like he's determined to push me away," she says. "He doesn't think I should care, but I do, and I don't know how to tell him flat out to quit telling himself that no one gives a damn, because it's obvious that people do, and he doesn't want to see it!"  
Eames knows little about her sleeping colleague's childhood, and Carolyn offers no details. She almost screwed them over once doing that, and she has no intention of doing it again. So instead, she looks back towards Mike, who's completely oblivious to the world around him, and shakes her head.

"Why does it have to be so hard?" she asks, careful to keep her voice quiet. "Why can't I just tell him?"  
"Because nothing's ever easy when you're a cop," says Eames, trademark sarcasm that brings a faint smile to Carolyn's face as the other woman goes on. "We can't make it obvious that we feel something more than friendships for our partners, or we get split up. Can't have a personal life, because the job gets in the way. Can't piss off the brass or get sent out to Staten Island…"  
"I heard that," says Mike, opening an eye to look at them. He yawns and goes on. "How long have you two been talking about me?"  
"Hours," says Eames, smirking at him. "The stories never end, Logan. You ought to know that by now."

He looks towards Carolyn, who shakes her head, looking amused. "Go back to sleep," she tells him. "I haven't told any horror stories yet."

But he doesn't. Eames looks at the two detectives before her, and shakes her head, before rising to her feet, slipping her cell phone out of her pocket.

"I'm gonna go see what my partner's gotten himself into this time," she says. "He was supposed to be here by now."

* * *

She leaves when he finally makes her.

"I'm not gonna have you trying to sleep in the damn chair," he tells her, irritably. "Quit being stubborn and go home for a few hours. Take a shower or something, make yourself beautiful, whatever it is you women do."

She looks at him with raised eyebrows. "Make myself beautiful?" she repeats. "You think I need to?"

He shakes his head at her. "Go on, Carolyn, you know what I meant. Go do something. Relax. I'm going to be fine."

And so she goes, promising that she'll be back as soon as possible, to which he replies that it had better not be before a minimum of two hours has gone by.

Goren shows up about half an hour later, and Mike rolls his eyes. "She called you, didn't she?" he asks.

"She's worried about you still," comes the reply. "Didn't want you to be alone sitting here. Seemed to think you'd drive the nurses up the wall."  
Mike laughs. "Yeah, that's what she said yesterday," he says. "I finally got her to leave, and she tells you to come sit with me."

"Can you really blame her?"

Mike mulls this over for a moment before shaking his head. "No," he says, "I can't. I just…it's weird, you know? If I'd never met her…"

"You'd be sitting here alone right now, right?" Goren asks, finishing where he left off, and Mike nods.

"Yeah," he says, "I would be. And it's weird, because I'm just…used to dealing with things on my own, 'cause no one's ever been around before, and she's here, and it's just…not what I expected."

"Love does that to people," says Goren, vaguely, and Mike stares at him.

* * *

Ross is hovering over Wheeler's shoulder, and it's getting on her nerves, so she finally turns and asks him what he wants, not caring that the words come out more rudely than she'd meant them to.

"I want to know how you're handling this," he tells her, and she rolls her eyes.

"About as well as can be expected," she says, flatly. "I'm having a hard enough time handling it without you hovering over me. I know how to do my job."

"No one's saying you don't," comes the reply, and as Ross watches her, he can't help but think that she's taken a few passages out of her partner's book, not that he can blame her.

"Well, you're acting like it," Wheeler says, crossly. "Just let me work and find the bastard that shot my partner, and then maybe everything will be normal again."  
But she doubts it and wonders as she looks at the empty desk across from her while Ross walks away if anything will be normal. If Mike will even want to partner off with her again. A disgusted snort escapes her, one that Goren notices as he walks by.

"Something wrong?" he asks, stopping beside her desk, and Wheeler looks up at him for a long moment before nodding, slowly.

"What if he leaves?" she asks, anxiously. "What if he decides he doesn't wanna partner off with me because of this?"

The worry is a legitimate one. "I'm sure that's not what'll happen," Goren says, finally, unable to think of anything else, but Wheeler shakes her head, looking amused in a twisted sort of way.

"Told him once all the Wheeler women seemed to be cursed when it came to guys," she says mildly. "He didn't wanna hear it. Now look where it's gotten us."

Goren gives her a sideways look, and sighs. "I think it'd be good if you went to see him," he says, and nods towards Ross' office. "I'll cover for you."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry about the delay. My muse decided it wanted to get stuck, and then it got stuck on McCoy over in the TOS section, but here's an update, while it's back in CI again. **

* * *

Wheeler comes to see him, and when she does, Carolyn gets to her feet and goes off in search of coffee, not wanting to intrude on the two partners.

"This is awkward," says Mike, giving her an amused look. "Take off your coat and stay a while, why don't you?"

Wheeler does so, and sits, in the chair that Carolyn's just left, nervously. "How're you feeling?" she asks.

"Could be better, could be worse," says Mike, and then, "Listen to me for a minute, huh?"

Wheeler nods, and he goes on. "This isn't your fault."

"I should've been paying attention," she says, at once. "The shots…they came from the apartment building I said we should've gone to."

"Good thing we didn't, then. Doubt I'd be here now if we had," says Mike, an attempt at humor that doesn't work.

"How long until you're out of here?" she asks. He gives her an amused look.

"Tired of a desk already?" he asks. She gives him an annoyed look.

"I'm on the streets trying to find whoever it was that shot you two times," she says.

"Three," says Mike, "We must've missed hearing one. I only heard two shots, too."  
"Try saying that five times fast." says Wheeler, and he grins at her.

"One of these days," he says. "Not now." There's a long pause, and it starts getting on his nerves, so he goes on. "You know, I'm glad it wasn't you."

"Yeah?" Wheeler is intrigued by this remark, even if she doesn't want it to look like she is, but Mike can tell, and the amused look returns.

"Yeah," he says, and then, "I've…lost partners before, to guns. Not something I want to see again."  
And she stares at him for a long moment, because she knows that in this moment, he's just told her something that before, a year ago, he'd have never said.

* * *

She buys Wheeler coffee, because, after all, she could have stayed away, but she didn't, and even if it doesn't really mean anything to Mike, it means something to her.

"Never dealt with anything like this before," says Wheeler, idly stirring the drink in front of her. "Probably not supposed to admit this, but it scares the hell out of me."

Carolyn nods, slowly. "Scares me, too," she says. "Couldn't fall asleep the first night. Kept thinking something was going to happen and I'd wake up and he'd be gone."  
"One of the worst things about police work," says Wheeler, shaking her head. "You ask me, he's too stubborn to die."

She can say this now, because she said it to Mike's face, and it made him laugh, something he told her not to make him do, because it hurts him to laugh, and now, Carolyn laughs, too.

"That sounds about right," she says. "Too stubborn to die."

She used to give Mike hell about being too stubborn once upon a time, and now she makes a note never to do it again. After all, if he weren't too stubborn for his own good, he wouldn't be here now. They'd have gone to that other apartment building, and she'd have been burying him…and her heart.

"He's going to want to kill the lot of us by the time he gets out of there," says Wheeler, speaking of the hospital, and Carolyn can't help but allow an amused look to cross her face.

"Yeah, and I've got to go back to work day after tomorrow," she says, and wishes that she didn't have to. That she still worked Major Case, and that they still had a captain who'd understand the need to stay off the streets. But she's not going to say any of this to Wheeler's face.

"I think Goren and Eames have effectively taken this one over," says Wheeler, but doesn't sound at all resentful. "It's kind of a relief, you know?"  
And Carolyn does, so she nods. "Suppose you wouldn't mind if I asked if you're all right handling this with them?" she asks. Wheeler shakes her head.

"Nah, it's all right," she says. "Can't blame you for asking." She pauses for a moment and then goes on. "I didn't think I'd be able to handle it."

"Seeing one of your partners shot, you mean?" Carolyn asks, and Wheeler nods.

"Yeah, that," she says. "I mean, I guess I always thought it'd freak me out, but I just never thought it'd happen, y'know?"

"Yeah," says Carolyn, after a long moment, slowly. "Yeah, I do."

* * *

Wheeler goes back to the squad room. Carolyn goes back to the hospital, because she's off duty now. Mike is wide awake and talking to one of the nurses, but he scowls as if the nurse is being annoying when he sees her.

"I saw that," she says, mildly, as the nurse leaves. "Suppose I could say you're a bigger flirt than I thought you were."  
He doesn't miss the teasing note in her voice, and so he smirks at her. "Nah. I was just telling her how much of a pain in the ass she is, always coming to take my temperature."

"I don't want to know," says Carolyn and he gives her a mock-surprised look, remembering not to shake his head at her.

"I'm shocked," he says. "Here I was thinking that you were the one who never had those sorts of thoughts, and you've just managed to prove me wrong."

"Is it my fault there's a thermometer that's made to…never mind," says Carolyn, "Now I don't want to think about it."

Mike smirks at her. "That's what you get for thinking it in the first place," he says, and then, "For the record, that's not the one she was using."

"Didn't I just tell you I didn't want to think about it?"

Silence, and then laughter. He wonders for a moment why this is, and decides that he'll think about it later, because at the moment, all it's doing is making his head hurt.

"You know, I didn't really expect you to come back," he remarks, after a while, and Carolyn gives him a sideways look.

"Why's that?" she asks, and he shrugs.

"Because no one ever did," he says. "I've been in the hospital before; this isn't exactly the first time. But they'd come, and if I had to stay, they'd leave."

"Who?" Carolyn asks, but she has the feeling that she knows who he's talking about. He shrugs again.

"Parents," he mumbles, without looking at her. "Couldn't really blame my dad, 'cause of work and what not, but my mom…she didn't do anything. And she always left, and she never came back."

* * *

He dreams in scenes, almost like a movie playing in the back of his mind, and he's stuck, and he can't wake up. He can hear voices in the dreams, but no matter how many times he speaks, no one ever answers.

_"Hey, wait!" _He can see himself as a child, eight years old and awkward, going after the other kids in the neighborhood, whom he's known for his entire life. And then it changes, and he hears his mother's voice and sees himself years later, at twelve, listening to her yell.

_"…worthless, you're never going to be good for anything, you hear me?" _

It's this that makes him wake up, gasping, feeling as if he's being smothered, even though there's nothing over him, and nothing holding him back from breathing.

She's there, still, and she's asleep. But suddenly, after a moment, she opens an eye to look at him, and the look of concern that crosses her face is hard to miss.

"Hey," she says, quietly, "You all right?"

And he finds that he can't speak, that any ability he might've had to do so left him before she opened her eyes, and so he shakes his head, and she reaches for his hand. The gesture is a comforting one, and he closes his eyes, again, slowly, assured that she isn't going to leave.

The last thing he hears before he drifts off completely is the sound of her talking to him.

* * *

"I hate being here," he tells her, and she laughs at him. He gives her an annoyed look.

"It's not funny," he says. "I can't do a damn thing. I'm sitting here stuck doing nothing, 'cause I can't freaking move."

"Don't want to open your stitches, do you?" Carolyn asks, still looking amused. Mike glares at her.

"I could care less about the damn stitches, I just want to be able to move. I wanna be on the streets again, y'know?" he asks. She sighs.

"Give it time," she says. "It's only been about a week. You've got at least another couple of days here."

"Yeah, and that's only if I can find someone who's gonna want to put up with me for the rest of the recovery time," says Mike, shaking his head. "The way things are going I'm gonna be in here until the doctors give me the go ahead to work."

Carolyn eyes him for a long moment and then shakes her head, too. "No, you won't be," she says. He looks at her with raised eyebrows.

"Are you offering?" he asks, slowly, and she nods.

"Yeah," she says. "As a matter of fact, I am offering. I'm not gonna leave you in this place. I have to work, sure, but I live close enough to headquarters."  
He laughs, softly, and then shifts slightly in his position. "You sure you wanna put up with me that long?"  
She gives him an amused look. "I've put up with you so far, haven't I?"

* * *

A few days later finds her unlocking her apartment door, and pushing him gently inside, leading him into the main room, and making him sit down.

"I could get used to this, you know," he says, warningly, and she laughs.

"Bet you could," she says. "Everything's pretty self explanatory. Kitchen's over here, remotes are over there, movies, TV, music, whatever. It's all here."

She wonders why she sounds nervous, and knows that it's why Eames had been laughing at her the day before. Mike gives her a sideways look.

"You've been talking to Goren and Eames," he says. "How're they doing anyway?"

"They're busy," says Carolyn. "That's why they haven't been around lately. Both of 'em are irritated at the new guy again, and Wheeler's trying to keep the peace."

"That sounds about right," says Mike, and shakes his head, because he can without feeling like he's going to die now. "Wish I was back there already."

"You've still got a while to go, and on top of that, you know you're going to be on a desk."

Mike makes a face at her. "There, you see?" he asks. "Why'd you have to go ruin it? I was just starting to feel better."

Carolyn sticks her head out of the kitchen and smirks at him. "Well, I'm making coffee, if that helps."

"What's up with the theory that coffee cures everything?" Mike asks in reply. "I thought it was chocolate that cured everything."

"Well, yeah, but I'm a cop, and so are you," Carolyn points out. "Chocolate only cures things some of the time."

"And coffee does the trick the rest of the time?" Mike asks, and she laughs.

"As a matter of fact," she says, "It does." _And so do you, _she adds, in her mind, and silence falls when he doesn't answer.

* * *

"You're a pain, Logan," says Eames, by way of greeting. "First you get yourself landed in the hospital and then you impose on Carolyn…"  
"He's not imposing, and whatever you two brought, bring it in here, please," says Carolyn, from the kitchen. Eames rolls her eyes and wanders in.

"So, how's life treating you?" she asks, and Carolyn gives her an amused look.

"Could be better, could be worse…didn't Bobby come with you?" she asks in reply, and Eames nods.

"Suppose they're having a conference in there about how to deal with us," she says, shaking her head. "What do you think?"

Carolyn rolls her eyes. "We ought to be the ones having a conference on how to deal with them," she says. "Any word from the captain?"

"Nope," says Eames, "Left a message. If he gets it, he'll call back, either my cell phone or Bobby's."

"Ought to call him on avoiding us, you think?" Carolyn asks, looking amused. "Haven't heard from him in a while."

"I don't think he's avoiding us as much as he is enjoying retirement," says Eames, "Can't really say I blame him."

"After dealing with the four of us?" says Carolyn, laughing. "Neither can I."

"Hey, what're you two talking about in there?" says Mike's voice, from the main room. Both women roll their eyes.

"We're telling horror stories about our partners," says Eames. There's a split second of silence, and then all four of them laugh.

* * *

Later, he talks her into dancing with him, when Goren and Eames have gone.

"Just once," he says. "I promise it's not going to hurt me." She gives him a skeptical look, but goes along with it, anyway.

"To think, I used to have to drag you into doing this with me," she says, and he rolls his eyes.

"I figure I might as well; not like I have anything better to do," he says. She gives him a mock-hurt look.

"Thanks, Mike," she says, "Nice to know I'm so high up on your list of priorities."

He grins at her. "Suppose you wouldn't smack me if I said you were my only priority right now?"  
Carolyn looks at him with raised eyebrows. "Only if it was true," she says, slowly, and he nods.

"Believe me," he says, "It is." He pauses for a long moment, and then goes on. "This is…different."

"What is?" Carolyn asks. "This? What we're doing right now? It's not as if we've never danced before."

Mike shakes his head. "That's…not what I meant," he says, nervously, "I just…this isn't like any other relationship I've had before…usually it would've been over a few months in, but…"

"But in March it'll have been two and a half years," says Carolyn, and shakes her head. "Longest I've ever been with anyone, either, before now."

"Is that what this is?" Mike asks, as the song comes to an end. "A relationship?"

Carolyn looks up at him, but no answer comes.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: And life gets in the way once again. Sorry about the delay, but here's the latest update. **

* * *

He returns to work, and is content to let himself be talked into sitting on a desk for a day or two, by Wheeler.

"Why do I get the feeling that if the captain had asked, you'd have told him to kiss off?" Wheeler asks, and Mike laughs.

"Because I probably would have," he says. "Don't tell him I said that, either."

Wheeler shakes her head, looking amused. "I told him the same thing right after…well, you know. I don't think he took it well."  
Mike gives her a mock-surprised look. "You?" he asks. "You told him to kiss off?"

"Not in those terms, exactly," says Wheeler, giving him a mock-annoyed look. "I just told him to back off. I don't think he thought I could handle this."  
"Looks to me like you did," says Mike. "Caught the guy, didn't you?"  
And they did, too, and Wheeler pauses for a moment, as she thinks about the day the arrest was made. "They let me take the collar," she says, of Goren and Eames. "Not sure why."  
Mike shrugs. "I've had partners shot before," he says. "More of a courtesy thing, I'd say. Letting the fallen one's partner arrest whoever did it."  
Wheeler nods, slowly, and mulls this over in silence for a few seconds. "Think you're ready for the field again?"  
"Doctors gave me the go-ahead," says Mike. "I'd like to think I will be." He looks at the clock and sighs. "I hate mornings."

"Want to go grab coffee?" Wheeler asks, and he laughs.

"A cop after my own heart," he says. "Grabbing coffee to skive off paperwork." He reaches for that leather jacket of his, the one he's had for heaven only knows how long, and rises to his feet, grinning at her. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

"To taking three bullets and coming back without a scratch," says Eames, and there's laughter.

"Without a scratch, my eye," says Mike. "What d'you call sitting in the hospital for too freakin' long?"

"Not a scratch," says Carolyn, and there comes more laughter. They've come to the usual place, the four of them, and no one really pays attention one way or the other to what they're doing, so long as they aren't causing any trouble.

"Yeah, yeah," says Mike, "So I'm back in the squad room. It's not like I wasn't gonna come back."  
"You didn't even think about giving up the high-profiles for the Staten Island beat?" Eames asks, giving him a look of mock surprise. Mike rolls his eyes.

"Um, no," he says. "I think I like where I am, and besides, who's gonna keep the new guy off you and Goren if I don't?"  
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," says a voice, and the four detectives turn.

"Well, look who's come across the bridge," says Eames, "Nice to see you."

Deakins rolls his eyes at her and sits, in the one empty place that they left, ironically enough at the head of the table.

"The four of you managing to keep out of trouble yet, or is that still wishful thinking?" he asks.

"Still wishful thinking," says Goren, looking amused, "At least, for the most part."  
"Yeah, your part," says Mike, "I haven't done anything for a month, at least."

"Well, whose fault is that?" Carolyn asks dryly. Silence. They all know the name of the one that Goren and Eames and Wheeler arrested in connection with the shooting, but none of them wish to say it out loud. So they change the subject.

"Wheeler finally told him to kiss off, y'know," says Eames, finally. "Suppose we could say that she's as tired of him as we are?"

Carolyn snorts. "Suppose we can say she's taking a leaf from our book," she says, and then, to Deakins, "You sure you don't want us to find a way to get you back?"

He laughs at them. "I think you lot have caused enough trouble for a while."

* * *

He gives Eames a bag of Skittles and she gives him a suspicious look.

"What'd you and Bobby do this time?" she asks, because she's become somewhat used to this happening over the past little while. Mike gives her a mock hurt look.

"We didn't do anything," he tells her. "I just have a question. You mind talking to me for a minute?"

Eames looks across the way at her partner's desk. He's completely absorbed in something related to this latest case they're handling. She rolls her eyes.

"I want coffee," she says, and Mike gives her a relieved look.

"Fine," he says, "I'll buy you some, and your partner. Just come with me, will you?"  
She does. And they end up at a nearby coffee shop, waiting. "So, what do you want?" she asks.

"Say I were to tell you that I wanted to ask someone out," he replies, vaguely. "Like, really ask her. What would you tell me?"  
"I'd say it's about damn time," says Eames, smirking at him. "I'd also say that you'd do well to already have something up your sleeve."

"I do," says Mike, looking relieved by this answer. "You think it'll work out?"  
"I should say so," says Eames, taking a sip from the cup that's handed to her, and shifting her grip on the one meant for her partner. "Heaven only knows you've waited long enough."  
"This isn't something I wanna rush into," says Mike, without looking her in the eye. "It's…different."  
"Different," says Eames, looking up at him with raised eyebrows. "I should think so."  
He looks back at her. "I'm serious," he says. "This isn't like any of the other times…she's not like any of the other ones."  
They leave the coffee shop and Eames nods at him. "You'd better not treat her like she is."

He's half tempted to ask her what she'd do if he did, but decides not to, because he knows that he won't.

* * *

When the Chief of Detectives asks her if she'd mind talking to the captain of the Major Case Squad, she thinks for a minute that he means Deakins, and then she remembers that there's someone new in place. So she goes to the eleventh floor, this time in an official capacity, and by the time she leaves the new guy's office (because she still thinks of him as the new guy), she's formed her own opinion.

"Whoever shoved that stick up there needs to figure out a way to make it disappear," she mutters, as she walks past Eames' desk, and the other woman looks up, amused, and follows her into the break room.

"I take it you're not too fond of him?" she asks, in an undertone, once they're alone and they've made sure that no one's looking around and listening in.

"I hope our dear partners are taking it upon themselves to give him what he deserves, to put it nicely," Carolyn says dryly. "I'd say he makes working for the Chief of D's seem like a piece of cake, but then, the hierarchy's always been worse."  
Eames laughs, and it is probably the sound of this that draws Wheeler in from the squad room.

"Captain's not in a good mood," she says, to Eames, and then, to Carolyn, amused, "Not that it's anything you said."

Silence, for a split second, and then all three of them laugh. Carolyn shakes her head.

"Of course not," she says, mock-seriously. "I'm just doing my job, he's doing his, and so is everyone else. What're we gonna do about it?"  
Wheeler smirks. "Avoid him until he decides he doesn't wanna kill us all, not that he'd ever admit to wanting to kill us all."  
Eames rolls her eyes. "We can tell by looking at him," she says. "These days, I'd say it's a given that he wants to do away with us."  
"We'll see how long that lasts," says Carolyn, fighting the mad desire to laugh again. "You all will solve a case, and then it'll all be good until the next time."

* * *

He goes out with the crew from Staten Island. It's been a while since he's seen them last, and it's not like the days from the two-seven, because two are gone, one's retired and moved away, and those were really the ones he was close to: Max and Phil and Lennie. Staten Island is different, because all of them stuck around, and out of all of them, he was there for the shortest amount of time.

"I've been out here too long to keep track of," says Frankie Silvera, dryly. "I don't think they're gonna move me anytime soon."  
"Nah," says Mike, smirking at her, "The island needs you. They'd be lost without you."

She rolls her eyes. "So, how's Major Case treating you? Your new captain ready to throw in the towel yet?"  
"Nope. Which is actually somewhat of a surprise, considering." Mike reaches for the pack of gum in his pocket and sticks a piece in his mouth as he nods towards one of the other figures. "Think you're gonna move anytime soon?"  
Allison Wakefield rolls her eyes. "Probably not," she says. "Born, raised and now working on the island. Kinda sad if you ask me."  
"Well, yeah, but you live in Manhattan now," says her partner, Jeremy Davidson, "So, it's not like you're going to be stuck on the island forever."  
"Obviously," says Mike, who actually ran into Allison the other day, which is why he's out on the island in the first place, with the three of them. "They stick you with anyone new yet?"

The question is directed towards Frankie, who smirks. "Temporarily," she says. "Suppose you could say I got too used to putting up with you; now I don't wanna deal with anyone else."  
He laughs. "First and last, huh?" he asks. She kicks his foot under the table.

"Don't be a jerk," she tells him, and then, "Heard your new partner's still kind of a rookie."  
At this, Mike shakes his head. "Not really," he says. "Maybe at first, but not anymore. She gets it."  
There's no need to ask what this 'it' is, because everyone already knows. "So," says Jeremy, "You back in the field yet?"

Mike nods. "Kinda missed it, if you know what I mean," he says, and everyone nods, because they do. Allison sighs and leans back in her seat.

"The things we do for this city, honestly," she says, and shakes her head. "You'd think people would learn that crime doesn't pay."  
Frankie snorts. "If crime doesn't pay, I'll eat my shield," she says. "Might not pay for them, but it sure as hell does for us."  
The irony of this statement isn't lost on any of them, and as they look down at the drinks in front of them and mull this over, they realize that she's right.

* * *

'Caro' is a nickname normally reserved for people whom she feels close to, and everyone else either calls her by her full first name, or by her last name. So when that federal agent of an ex-boyfriend calls her by this nickname, she shakes her head at him.

"You lost the right to call me that when we split," she tells him. "That leaves you with two choices."

Somehow she's been dragged out by another federal agent friend of hers, and now she's face to face with this guy again, and she'd love to take a leaf out of Mike's book and just deck him for the smug look on his face, but she doubts the Chief of D's would take it well if she were booked for assault.

"All right then, _Carolyn_," he says, with an emphasis on her full name that keeps her in the mood to smack him right across the face. "How's life treating you?"  
"Just fine," she says, flatly, because she doesn't really want to talk to him, but somehow, the others disappeared on them, and it would seem rude if she didn't. "And you?"

"Could be better, could be worse. On assignment, can't say much more than that."

As if she needs an explanation. Another reason why they split: he always treated her as if she knew nothing, or next to nothing, and it bothered the hell out of her. A hand on her shoulder makes her jump.

"This guy bothering you?" Startled by the voice, she turns, and sees Mike there, frowning slightly.

"As a matter of fact," she says, and taking the hint, ex-boyfriend goes away. Mike takes his place.

"How'd you know I was here?" she asks, giving him an amused look. He shrugs.

"I didn't," he says. "I was out with the crew from the island. Saw you over here, figured I'd save you."  
She laughs. "My hero," she says. "My other friends have disappeared. You feel like getting out of here?"

He nods, and holds his arm out to her. "This way, my lady," he says, trying and failing to keep a straight face. It's still early on in the year, so they can see their breath coming from their laughter as they step outside.

"Nice to see chivalry isn't dead yet," she says, as they walk, arm in arm, and he grins at her.

"You didn't really think I was gonna leave you with that creepy Fed guy, did you?"

She laughs, but shakes her head. "I'm glad you didn't."

* * *

As it turns out, Fed guy gets involved in a case. Mike remembers his name, vaguely, because they've met before, and he'd love nothing more than to piss this guy off, but Wheeler's watching him, so he leaves well enough alone.

"I hate him," he says, before popping a few M&M's into his mouth. Wheeler rolls her eyes.

"You piss the captain off instead of this guy, you'll be riding a desk," she warns. "I'd be careful if I were you."  
"Something isn't right here," Mike mutters, and hands the bag of M&M's to Wheeler, because sharing candy is one of those things they do nowadays. Coffee, on the other hand, is a whole different story.

"Well, you're not gonna find it by antagonizing the Feds," says Wheeler, dryly. "What'd this guy ever do to you, anyway?"  
"Nothing to me," says Mike, without looking her in the eye. "To someone I know. I'd like to hit him, but that's only gonna get me sent back to the island."  
Wheeler smirks. "You think it'd be worth it?" she asks, and he nods, briefly, before looking towards the captain's office to make sure the door is closed. It is.

"Matter of fact," Mike replies, and then, "How'd they get involved in this, anyway?"

"Some racketeering something or other," says Wheeler, sounding disinterested. "They're convinced we're gonna screw up their case if we keep going with ours, so now they've got a stick up their ass about it."  
"That explains why the captain's been giving us that look all morning," says Mike, looking amused at his partner's choice of words. "This should get interesting."  
Wheeler rolls her eyes at him. "More like this should get us into trouble."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Finally, another update. I've got so much going right now that I'm starting to lose track, but I think I've gotten it organized, finally. So here goes nothing. **

* * *

Wheeler talks on the phone to her sister. Mike leaves the cup of coffee on her desk, and asks who she's talking to by looking at her with raised eyebrows; she answers, and they leave it at that. When she hangs up, she sighs.

"I still don't get why she doesn't ever listen when I tell her she should move back from overseas," she says. "I went to see her while I was over there."

He remembers this, because when she came back, she informed him that it seemed to her as if all the Wheeler women were cursed when it came to guys, not counting her kid brother.

"So, what's up on her end?" he asks, even though it's none of his business. Wheeler leans back in her seat and shrugs.

"Same old stuff," she says. "Broke up with another boyfriend, decided she wanted to call me and talk about it."

"You still going with that guy from the Bronx?" Mike asks in reply, and she nods, looking amused by the question.

"It's going better than I thought it was," she says, trying and failing to sound like she doesn't care one way or the other.

"Good to hear," says Mike, and means it. "We hear from Fed guy yet?"

Wheeler shakes her head, and then gives him a sideways look. "I got a question for you," she says, and he nods.

"Shoot," he says, and she looks at him with raised eyebrows, shaking her head again.

"I'd rather not," she replies, and then, "Is it just me, or am I the only person around here you still call by last name?"  
He mulls this over for a moment, and then shrugs. "Guess it's not just you," he admits, and feels somewhat guilty about it. "Why?"

She shrugs. "Just wondering," she says. Silence falls between them for a moment as they concentrate on their tasks at hand. When it gets close to the point of being awkward, she speaks again. "You could call me Megan, you know."  
He nods, and they leave it at that.

* * *

Fed guy, whose name is actually Townsend, since they don't know his first name, is getting on their nerves, and now it's Megan who wants to smack him.

"Just because he's got jurisdiction everywhere doesn't mean he should be able to walk all over us like he owns the place," she says. "Think the captain would yell at me if I knocked him a good one?"

Mike shakes his head. "I think I'm starting to rub off on you too much," he says, but doesn't say that it's a bad thing, because it really isn't. At least, not as far as he's concerned. Both of them are well aware of the fact that Ross might have another opinion about that.

Megan smirks. "Ought to take myself a run on Staten Island," she says, and he gives her a mock-annoyed look.

"You want M&M's or not?" he asks. She holds out a hand. He pours a few into her palm, never really having had the intention to withhold them.

"Pushover," she tells him. "We gotta find a way to deal with Fed guy before he gets someone hurt."

"Fed guy already hates us," Mike points out. "Or rather, he hates me. I don't even know the guy, so I can't be exactly sure why."

Megan rolls her eyes. "He's jealous," she says, and Mike gives her a suspicious look.

"What do you know about Fed guy, anyway?" he asks, and Megan shrugs.

"Stuff," she replies, and then, "Don't look so surprised. Did you really think I don't talk to Barek and Eames?"

He's never honestly thought about it, and he knows it, so he doesn't answer and to save himself from having to speak, he pops a few M&M's into his own mouth. Megan rolls her eyes at him, again.

"Back to Fed guy," she says, and Mike cuts her off before she can go on.

"What's he got to be jealous about, anyway?" he asks. "I know you know something. Give it up."

But Megan shakes her head, smirking. "That's for me to know and you to find out," she says. "Current case file, anyone?"

* * *

They walk, because it's nice outside, and because she wants to. She's heard about Fed guy coming to work with Major Case, and she thinks it's funny, even if Mike doesn't.

"I still don't see why it's so amusing to you," he says, irritably. "The guy's a pain in the backside. I don't get how you put up with him for so long."

"He can be charming when he wants to be," says Carolyn, thinking back on it for a moment. "He probably doesn't like you because of what happened last weekend."

Mike snorts. "Well, he was bothering you," he says. "What'd he think I was gonna do, sit there and let him?"  
"You know, he called me," Carolyn remarks. "The next day. Apologized for being a jerk. Wanted to know who you thought you were, acting the way you did."

"Someone who could kick him from here to the southern side of Jersey?" Mike asks, dryly. Carolyn laughs and shakes her head.

"Don't turn this into a turf war," she says. "It'll only make things worse, and you know it."  
He rolls his eyes, and gives her a mock-innocent look. "What makes you think I'll turn it into a turf war?"

She snorts. "You don't fool me, Logan," she says, seriously now. "I know you don't like the Feds, but this guy…" She trails off and shakes her head. "Never mind."

All it does is make him wonder exactly what went down when the two of them split up, but he decides not to prod at Carolyn about this; she doesn't look as if she'd take too well to it.

"I think he's dirty," he says, and Carolyn gives him a startled look.

"You gonna go Internal Affairs on me?" she asks, half-joking, but the look he gives her in reply is a serious one.

"If I have to, I will."

Silence falls between them for a long moment, and finally, Carolyn walks in front of him and stops in her tracks, causing him to nearly fall over her as she turns around.

"Promise me you'll be careful," she says, sounding anxious, and it makes him wonder. When he doesn't answer, she grabs both of his hands and squeezes, hard. "Promise me."

He nods. Only slightly mollified by this, she slides her arm through his and they continue to walk, in silence.

* * *

Goren and Eames are pulled in on the case. It's somewhat like a task force, but at the same time, it's not, because they don't like the Feds, and the Feds don't particularly like them.

"They want us to bend over and take it?" Eames asks, and then shakes her head. "Forget it. This is ours."

"It was theirs first," says Megan, without looking up from the paperwork she's taken upon herself to do, because Mike keeps putting it off, and it's getting on her nerves.

"Well, yeah, but they came into our squad room," he tells her. "Expecting to just take over. You said it yourself, they don't need to come in here acting like they own the place."

It's become a turf war, even though that's not what was meant to happen, but that's just the sort of thing that comes along with this sort of thing. Goren looks up from what he's going over at his own desk.

"It looks like there might be a link between these," he says, of two murders that they're currently working. "Look. Both victims were seen by the same people before they did."

"The five families," says Mike, and the others know exactly what he means. He looks up from peering over Goren's shoulder and shakes his head. "No wonder the Feds want a hand in this."

As if on cue, Fed guy and his partner appear, blank expressions on their faces, because that's just how they are. Never willing to give anything away. Fed guy scowls at Mike as they pass by him, but other than that, there's nothing. They disappear into the captain's office.

"What I wouldn't do to just nail that guy," Mike mutters, and Goren shakes his head.

"Ignore him," he says. "We'll see who's coming out on top of this when it's all over."

* * *

But it doesn't look like it's going to be over anytime soon, and tensions run high, and over the past few days, it gets to the point where Mike starts to think that if someone doesn't take Fed guy down a peg or two, he'll eat his gun. So he does it himself. And then he gets hauled in front of the Chief of Detectives.

When he comes out again, Carolyn's waiting for him, and she doesn't look happy. He's half-tempted to just brush past her, but she holds an arm out, effectively barring him from doing so.

"What in the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" she demands, her voice low and angry. "Didn't you just tell me the other day you'd be careful?"  
"That guy's been skating on thin ice since he took up with us, and he knows it," Mike retorts, without looking her in the eye. "Let them send me back to Staten Island. That idiot's going to get us all killed!"  
"You're gonna get yourself killed, going on the way you do!" Carolyn shoots back, furiously. "Didn't that thing with the FDNY however long ago teach you anything?"

Mike gives her a look. "I'm not having this conversation with you," he says, flatly. "I'm a grown man, _Barek._ I know how to handle myself."  
The emphasis he's placed on her last name stuns her, because she's so used to him calling her by either her first name or various nicknames he comes up with to annoy her. After a split second, her eyes narrow.

"Fine," she bites out, struggling to control herself and her emotions. "You want to play this game, you go ahead, but don't come around here to me when you get burned."  
He smirks. "Don't worry," he says, just as bluntly, as he starts to walk off. "I won't."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: One more chapter after this...**

* * *

He wonders when he became such an idiot, and knows that he's officially stuck his foot in his mouth in such a way that he doubts he'll be able to get it out again any time soon.

"I can't believe this," he says, to Goren. "First she doesn't care, and then she's telling me to watch it, and now she won't talk to me."  
"She told Alex that you scare her sometimes," says Goren, watching the area around them intently, because they're supposed to be on some kind of stakeout, but Mike's not really paying attention to their task at hand, and so he is.

"How the hell do I scare her?" Mike asks, incredulously. "I haven't done one thing to scare her."

"I really couldn't tell you," comes the reply. "All I know is what I've heard. Granted, I might've heard wrong, but there you have it."

Mike shakes his head. "I can't believe this," he says, again. "Why does it seem like no matter how hard any of us tries, everything always seems to get shot to hell?"  
Goren shrugs. "Probably just one of those mysteries of life that we're never going to figure out," he says. Mike snorts.

"I should live to see the day there's something you can't figure out," he mutters. "Honestly…" He trails off and sighs. "I should fix this."

"Yeah, you should. And I suggest you do it before Alex gets a hold of you, unless you feel like plying her with Skittles."

"Is that how you get her to keep from killing you?" Mike asks, dryly, and shakes his head. "It's not as easy as you might think it is, y'know."

"I know. Relationships are rarely as easy as people think they are. That's just the way life goes."

"But you and Alex seem to work perfectly. Why is that?"

Goren shrugs again. "Because she understands me," he says, simply, and then, "Sooner or later, Carolyn might start to understand you."

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"It's supposed to mean that if you let your guard down and let her in, maybe you'd get somewhere."

* * *

Townsend comes to talk to her. She's half-tempted to ignore him, except for now the hierarchy is trying to kiss up to the Feds (Megan's words, not hers), and she can't, without repercussions. So she walks with him.

"I don't like that Logan guy," he says to her. "Don't know why. He just rubs me the wrong way."

"Maybe if you weren't being such a jerk, he wouldn't," Carolyn says, tartly, and wonders exactly why she's defending Mike when he was taking the same line a few days ago.

Townsend shakes his head. "If anything, he's made things worse," he insists. "All it's doing is telling the Bureau that the NYPD's not willing to work with them."

"The NYPD's willing to fight crime, that's what we're willing to do, and if it means working with the Feds, then so be it," says Carolyn, the political response she's learned and is annoyed by. Townsend gives her an amused look.

"Turning into a politician on me?" he asks, and she shakes her head at him.

"Bite your tongue," she tells him. "Politics isn't for me. Why do you think I left in the first place?"

Townsend laughs. "I think the NYPD suits you better," he says, and Carolyn rolls her eyes.

"Thanks, I think," she says, and then, "Looks like the bruises are fading."

Townsend looks towards the sky, as if to ask why he's dealing with this, and Carolyn is taken by the sudden want to shove him directly into traffic. Somehow she keeps from actually doing so, and he speaks.

"Yeah," he says. "That Logan's got a temper on him. Makes me wonder how he's managed to make it so far."

The hidden implication is too much for her. "He's a good cop," she says, sharply. "Sure, he's rough around the edges, but most of us are. He wouldn't have taken you if you hadn't provoked him."

"Sure he wouldn't have," says Townsend, sarcastically, and shakes his head. "We're thinking we might be able to break this soon."  
"The Bureau or the department?" Carolyn asks, acidly, and he shrugs.

"Both," he says, but she knows that he's lying, and wonders why she put up with it so many times before.

* * *

"You're moping," says Megan, and hands him a cup of coffee. "Good morning."

Mike gives her a look. "You're not funny," he says, taking the coffee, "Thank you."

She sits and looks back at him. "Eames says you meant to seriously ask Barek out a while ago," she says. Mike rolls his eyes.

"I swear, the three of you together," he mutters. "Even I don't tell Goren everything. The hell is up with you and Barek and Eames being friends all of a sudden?"  
Megan rolls her eyes back at him. "It's not that hard to believe," she says, and then, "Might be for you, though."  
He pushes her foot under the desks. "You're still not funny," he tells her, and then, "I did mean to ask her out."

"So why didn't you?"  
"Because I beat the hell out of Fed guy, that's why." Mike leans back in his seat, frustrated. "Probably shot any chance I might've still had straight to hell."

"I doubt it," says Megan, "Barek doesn't like Fed guy much, either." She smirks and leans forward. "Don't you find it weird that neither of us call him by his name?"  
"Far as I'm concerned, that bastard doesn't have a name," says Mike, flatly. "The department's trying to kiss ass with the Feds and it's bothering the hell out of me, so I'm really not in the mood for trivial conversations."  
'Trivial', Megan thinks, being anything that has to do with Barek, or anything outside the case. So she pulls out a file, and hands it to him.

"Rap sheet," she says, "Think we might've found someone to tell us something."  
Mike looks it over, and shakes his head. "Son of a bitch," he mutters. "I know this kid. Nearly had him for murder my last year at the two-seven; he was about 15."

"Now he's twenty-seven and caught up in something that he probably can't get out of," says Megan. Mike reaches for his coat and rises to his feet.

"Let's see if we can't do it for him."

* * *

But by the time they get to the place where this kid normally hangs out, he's gone. And the Feds are there.

"What the hell is going on here?" Megan demands, since Mike's still on thin ice with the Bureau, and no one's there to smooth anything out but her.

Fed guy smirks at her. "We found the witness before you did, plain and simple," he says. "He's not here."  
"Well, where is he?" Mike asks. "Don't tell me you sent him back out onto the streets after people saw you talking to him."  
Fed guy rolls his eyes. "Do we look stupid to you?" he asks, and Mike is half tempted to answer, but before he can, Megan does.

"As a matter of fact," she snaps, finally irritated with having to deal with this day in and day out. "What'd you do with him?"  
Fed guy's partner smirks. "Like we're really going to tell you what we've done with a federal witness," he says, in that smug, superior way that makes both Mike and Megan wonder if they could really get away with murder, not that they'd ever act on such impulses.

"He's also a witness to our murder case," Mike says, furiously. "Your little racketeering and money laundering and whatever is nothing compared to a murder case."  
"People get hurt in all crimes, Detective Logan, whether it appears that way or not," says Fed guy, dismissively.

"You looking for another broken nose?" Mike demands, and Fed guy glares at him.

"You wouldn't dare."

"I wouldn't test me if I were you."

It's not the first pissing match he's been in with other guys over what goes where and who does what and what belongs to who, but he has the feeling that if it gets too far, he'll be the one forced into giving up his shield. So he falls silent after that, and glares in Fed guy's direction. Megan takes over.

"At least tell us that he's protected from whoever it might be that he was informing you about," she says, and Fed guy's partner nods, before Fed guy can say anything.

* * *

She goes to the gym with the intention of knocking a punching bag around, but she gets sidetracked by the sight of Eames, and so she sits on a bench and watches her do it instead.

"I can't believe this," she says, without knowing that she's echoing Mike's sentiments word for word. "First he promises he's gonna tread lightly around this mess and then he decides he wants to knock the Feds a good one."  
"He knocked one Fed a good one, and that Fed deserved it," says Eames, peering at her from behind the punching bag. "You know how he is, Carolyn. He's not just gonna sit and take whatever they give him."  
"He doesn't know how they work. If they wanted to screw him over, they could. In fact, they could be screwing him over right now, and we wouldn't even know it."

"Oh, we'd know it, when the captain decided to have a fit and send him back to Staten Island, which the brass are actually half tempted to do."

"So, what's keeping 'em from doing it?"  
"Couldn't tell you," says Eames, and then, "You know, I'm giving up on this. You wanna grab something to eat?"  
Carolyn nods, and rises to her feet. They head into the locker rooms as she speaks. "I told him not to bother talking to me anymore."  
"You what?" Eames gives her a startled look and pulls her shirt over her head so she can change. "Why'd you do that?"  
"I don't know. I didn't even say it in those particular words, but that's pretty much what was said," Carolyn replies. "I just…I don't know. This whole thing with the Feds is just bothering me."  
"I seem to recall you and Mike having to deal with a bunch of Secret Service guys in one of your cases," Eames remarks. Carolyn rolls her eyes.

"They might be Feds, too, but they're hardly like the FBI; I'd say they're friendlier, but I doubt they'd take too well to it," she says, dryly. "That was temporary. This is like…a task force, or something."  
And it is, and Eames knows this all too well. They finish changing and head out. "Well, you know Bobby and I will keep an eye on him."  
"Yeah…" Carolyn trails off, and looks away. "That's just it, though. You shouldn't have to. He should know when to back off, and apparently he doesn't."  
"And it scares you."  
"Yeah, it scares me." Carolyn trails off again, and sighs, running a hand over her face as she goes on. "I don't want to lose him."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: And it's finished. Still debating where to go from here, but there you have it. CI's still not mine, if I forgot to put that at the beginning of this fic. **

* * *

He pushes the button beside her name, and keeps a hold on it until she answers, because he knows that she knows it's him, and doesn't want to answer. So when she does, he is relieved.

"I know you don't want to talk to me, but I want to talk to you," he says. "If you don't want to let me in, then we can just talk like this."  
Inside the apartment, Carolyn rolls her eyes. "Mike, for heaven's sake, don't be ridiculous. We're not going to talk via intercom."  
"I take it that you're telling me that we're not going to talk at all, then?" Mike asks, and Carolyn shakes her head, before remembering that he can't see her.

"I'm telling you that we're not going to talk through the intercom," she says. "What if some other cop were to come around?"  
"If they have a problem with what I have to tell you, then it's on them," comes the reply, and she bites back the desire to laugh, because this is really what she's missed, through their silence, and though it's only been just short of two weeks, it feels like forever.

"Suppose I don't want to talk to you in my apartment, either, though," she says, and she hears him sigh.

"I'll stand out here all night if I have to," he tells her, and then, "I really need to talk to you."  
"I seem to remember telling you not to come around to me if you got burned," she remarks.

He sighs, again. "The only one I'm getting burned by is you," he tells her. "The Feds are gone. The case is over. They didn't do anything to me, I didn't do anything else to them."

This time, she laughs. "I'm coming downstairs," she says. "If you're not there when I get there, then I'm really not going to talk to you."

* * *

But he is. And she won't admit it to him, but she's relieved that he is, and he looks tired, and it worries her. And she finds it funny, because before, she might not have cared as much as she does now.

"Wheeler wearing you out already?" she asks, and he looks at her with raised eyebrows, shaking his head.

"She's got a guy in the Bronx," he replies, and Carolyn swats at him, an amused look crossing her face.

"That's not what I meant, Logan," she says, and he laughs, and she thinks then that it might just be one of her favorite sounds.

"You know, I swear, we've got to be one of the most complicated sets of partners out there," he remarks. She slides her arm through his as they walk, and leans so that her head is on his shoulder.

"Complicated, huh?" she asks, and then, "How do you figure?"  
"Well, we're partners for a year, and then you kiss me right before you transfer out and neither of us have an answer as to why," says Mike. "And then we have you offering to let me live with you while I'm recovering from being shot, and then there's Fed guy, and you having a fit at me, and the two of us not talking…"  
"Not to mention the coffee dates and such," says Carolyn, still looking somewhat amused. "Fraternization much?"

Mike snorts. "If that's what you want to call it," he says. "I'd like to call it staying in touch." He pauses for a long moment, and then speaks again. "You're the only partner I've been able to do that with, really. Except for the lot from the island."

"What happened to the partners from the two-seven?" Carolyn asks, because she knows about her partner's past inside the precincts, and knows that there were partners before her, and before Frankie Silvera.

Mike shrugs, without looking at her. "Lost two of them," he says. "Max and Lennie. And then Phil…well, we kinda just…fell out of touch."

There is silence for another long moment, and then it starts to rain. Mike stares up at the sky, and shakes his head, a wry smile crossing his face as they duck into the nearest place to get out of it.

"One more chance to escape the world we're in, huh?" he asks, and Carolyn squeezes his hand silently in reply.

They sit near a window a few minutes later, so they can watch the storm.

* * *

"You should come out with me," says Megan, a few days later, and Mike looks at her with raised eyebrows, as she throws one of those miniature boxes of Junior Mints at him.

"Don't you have a boyfriend?" he asks, and Megan rolls her eyes.

"Ever heard of a double date?" she asks, and then, "Never mind. Suppose you're a one on one kind of guy."  
He pushes at her foot beneath their desks. "Who exactly d'you expect me to bring on such short notice? Why are you asking me, anyway?"  
"This boyfriend of mine wants to meet you," says Megan, and then, "I don't know. Ask Eames."

"Are you kidding me? You do realize that Goren would kick my ass for that one, don't you?"  
"I was kidding, just so you know. Ask Barek. I'm sure she'd like to go with you."  
The raised eyebrows return. "Exactly how long have you been observing the two of us?" he asks. Megan shrugs.

"It's not that hard," she says. "You've been miserable for the past two weeks, and I know it's because you weren't talking to her."  
"You just know everything nowadays, don't you?" Mike asks, dryly. Megan smirks at him.

"Learned from the best," she retorts mildly, "And no, I'm not talking about Ross, either."

"Funny, I could've sworn he was your mentor."

"Maybe on the task force. I think he knows better than to try and lead me around here."  
"Wouldn't have known it from the first days here, no?"  
"Shut up, Logan. Let me have some of those M&M's."

* * *

They end up going out. Megan's boyfriend is a detective who's transferred from the Bronx to a unit on Staten Island. Ironically enough, it is the same squad that Mike left almost three years ago.

"So, how's the island treating you?" Mike asks, knowing full well that the other three have a penchant for giving the rookies hell at first. Megan's boyfriend, whose name is Ryan Thompson, shrugs.

"Could be better, could be worse. Suppose no one takes well to a new guy coming into their squad at first," he says. Mike laughs.

"You're taking it better than I did," he says. Carolyn rolls her eyes.

"If I remember correctly, you didn't particularly like Major Case in the first place, either," she says.

"Well, sure, but who's gonna appreciate being thrust into the high profile cases straight off?" Mike asks in reply. Megan smirks.

"Gotta be able to handle it," she says. "Can't take the heat, get out of the squad room."  
Mike snorts. "Look who's talking, face of the NYPD," he says. Megan shoves his foot under the table.

"Let's not go there," she says, but the statement's already caught Ryan's attention, and now he wants to know more.

"You're a dead man, Logan," says Megan, once the story's out, and all four of them laugh.

"Oh, come on, it's not that bad," says Carolyn, who heard the story from Eames, and then from Megan, both times over a bottle of something that they can't remember.

"Well, sure, but I mean, the guy's ear got cut off. That's disgusting." Megan trails off and shakes her head. "Sometimes I'm glad we have moments like this, y'know?"  
"Keeps things from getting too serious," says Carolyn, to which Mike shakes his head.

"Keeps us from eating our guns, if you ask me," he replies, and then, "Who's up for another round?"

* * *

He walks her home. Megan and Ryan go off in their own direction at the end of the night, leaving Mike and Carolyn to their own devices, and they're not too far from her apartment, so they walk.

"I had fun," she remarks, and he gives her a sideways look, unable to keep a faint smile off his face.

"Did you really?" he asks. "'Cause it's still early, by my standards, anyway. We could go do something else?"

Carolyn shakes her head. She realizes suddenly as they reach her apartment building that she doesn't want to be alone. "Suppose you wouldn't want to come up and watch a movie with me?" she asks.

"So we're definitely talking again?" he asks, sounding uncertain, and she nods, stopping in her tracks so that she can turn to look at him.

"Yeah," she says, "We're definitely talking again. And I shouldn't have told you what I did, but I just…I don't know. I just don't like the Feds."

"You don't like what they can do to people," says Mike, and Carolyn looks away from him, reaching into her pocket and fumbling for her keys. They fall from her grip as soon as she pulls them out. He bends down for them.

"I know what Townsend's like," she mumbles, as he slides the key into the lock and pulls the door to the building open. "He gets jealous and then he gets stupid. He wanted me back and I told him that he couldn't have me."  
"Is there someone you're not telling me about?" Mike asks dryly in reply, and she looks at him again.

"Yeah," she says, quietly, and there is a long pause before she speaks again. "You."

* * *

He ends up staying the night. And even after she falls asleep, despite the coffee consumed earlier on, he doesn't, partly because he can't, and partly because he doesn't want to. So he watches her and when a cell phone rings, he flips it open.

"Forget it, Wheeler," he says, flatly, careful to keep his voice quiet, so as not to wake the sleeping figure beside him. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm not Wheeler," says Eames' voice. "Why are you answering Carolyn's cell phone?"  
"Because…" Mike looks at the phone he's holding and realizes with a sinking feeling that it wasn't his after all. Not only do he and Carolyn have the same phone, but they have the same ringtone. Great minds think alike, he thinks, sarcastically, and then goes on. "Because I thought it was mine."

"Nice try. Is she with you?" Eames asks dryly, and Mike nods, before remembering that she can't see him.

"Yeah, but she's asleep. Don't you have something to do with Goren?" he asks in reply.

"He's asleep, too. I wanted to ask Carolyn something, but I suppose I can wait. Nice to know you're talking to each other again."

"I'll let her know you called, Alex."  
"And I'll take that as a goodbye." She hangs up and so does Mike, before looking down at Carolyn, who woke up somewhere along the line. He sighs.

"Sorry," he says. "I didn't mean to wake you. That was Eames. She had something ask you, but she also says it can wait."

"That it can," says Carolyn, and silence falls between them. He's got himself halfway convinced that she can't read whatever expression he's got on right now, and then she speaks.

"This isn't a mistake, you know," she says. He leans back against the headboard, because somehow, they ended up in her room, and sighs.

"And if it was?" he asks. She shrugs, and shifts so that she's leaning against him.

"Well, then it'd be my favorite one."


End file.
